Borat
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Borat Sagdiyev Is a Sock Puppet of the Jewish Noble, Baron Cohen. He is a well respected (particularly with 12 year olds) Kazakh journalist with a deep love for US and A. He boasts a lengthy resume, including news reporting in Albania and Moldova. He is an IRL troll.
Lately he has turned his focus from straight reporting to public awareness. In 1969, he spent time in England and America trying to capture the essence of Western Culture, including Democracy and Freedom, for the people of Kazakhstan.
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[edit] Personal Beliefs
Mr. Sagdiyev's values are deeply rooted in Kazakh tradition, so in the true spirit of cultural tolerence through the free exchange of ideals, he always tries to broaden the horizons of those he visits as he too learns local customs. One especially notable act of Borat 'giving back' was a crowd-pleasing performance in an Arizona country music bar, where he sang the hit Kazakh song "Throw The Jew Down The Well (So My Country Can Be Free)" about the plight of Jews in Kazakhstan. The chorus is:
- Throw the Jew down the well
- So my country can be free
- You must grab him by his horns
- Then we have a big party
Besides the Jews, he is also sensitive to the plight of gays, gypsies, pigs and women (in that order).
Recently, however, a Jewish actor called Sasha Cohen sparked controversy for Borat by impersonating the newsman on TV lampooning such time-honoured Kazakh customs as incest and rape, causing the Kazakhstan government to publicly speak out against Mr. Sagdiyev, ban him from their internet, and threaten frivilous litigation. In order to set the record straight, Borat posted the following on his own American website:
- ""In response to Mr. Ashykbayev's comments, I'd like to state I have no connection with Mr. Cohen and fully support my Government's decision to sue this Jew. Since the 2003 Tuleyakiv reforms, Kazakhstan is as civilized as any other country in the world. Women can now travel on inside of bus, homosexuals no longer have to wear blue hats, and age of consent has been raised to eight years old. Please, captain of industry; I invite you to come to Kazakhstan where we have incredible natural resources, hardworking labour, and some of the cleanest prostitutes in whole of central Asia. Chenquieh!""
[edit] Quotes
- "Great success!"
- (After a long wet French Kiss) "This is my sister. She is 4th best prostitute in whole Kazikstan."
- "Sexy time!"
- "He decided not to fly by air, in case the Jews repeated their attacks of 9/11."
- "How dare you make hand-party all over Pamela!!"
- (After asking Pamela Anderson to marry him) "Agreement is not nessesary."
[edit] Fame and Fortune
Borat's fame has reached such massive proportions that it will no longer fit in a TV set. Last November, he hosted the MTV Europe Awards [1] in Lisbon, Portugal and his big screen debut is slated for release as soon as next month last thursday.
The documentary, Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan was commissioned by the Kazakh Government), takes a look at the American people, their culture and their psyche as seen through the eyes of Mr. Sagdiyev, who's previous assignments here have made him as beloved to the American people as they are to him (except for the Jews, who make it necessary for him to travel by road and rail in case (to quote Borat) "The Jews repeat their attack of 9/11.”. Recently some frat boys decided to sue Borat for deflaming them in front of the world. The president of the national fraternity supported them, not wanting fraternities to become assciated with inebriation, racism or misogyny.
[edit] Impressions
Many up and coming comedians can be found contributing their own hilarious impressions of Borat on the internets! The best one can be found below:I guess not, amirite?
Other impressions are done by frat boys and drunk girls who think they are the next Richard Pryor. After a shitty impression is done people are forced to laugh even though they want the person to die a horrible death.
[edit] Is Borat Like ED?
Borat is one of the best examples of IRL trolling - having been arrested literally every single day whilst making the movie. In some ways Borat resembled Encyclopedia Dramatica:
PROS:
- Unlike some other shitty shows that try to be edgy (like South Park and Family Guy), Borat doesn't only troll people who deserve to be trolled, or try to justify his trolling - he trolls because he fucking can.
- No one is safe - faggots, americunts, feminazis, animals, jews, children etc. No one. (EXCEPT NIGGERS, DUE TO FEAR OF RAPE)
- He has several sockpuppets.
- He gets sued every week or so.
CONS:
- He's a kike. Although he may be ugly and hairy, at least he's not a furry. Although he was raped by a bear.
[edit] Fun Facts
- Borat has three sons, Bilak, Biram and Hooeylewis.
- Borat has a brother called Bilo who is a retard.
- Borat has previosly worked as a gypsy catcher, an ice maker and in IT, removing dead birds from Internets pipes.
- Borat's hobbies include ping-pong, making friends and sunbathing.
- Borat is actually a Jew
- "In 2274 ED (AC) Borat glass coffin of future to come opens; his lipless mouth emits the single word "SKYWALK!!!!!" in a screeecht that will riddle eternity with cold sickness.
[edit] Rock Star Bruno interviews an Ex-Mossad Agent in Jerusalem
Not long ago German Rockstar Bruno had teh excellent idea to interview an former Mossad Agent on the Hamas Issue in Jerusalem. However, when the Ex Agent saw him with that ghey Look, he didn't realize who the Interviewer really was, but then... when Bruno began with the interview asking questions like:
| —German Rockstar Interviewer Bruno, alias Borat |
[edit] Gallery of Borat
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 A big fan of prostitutes, Borat's sister is also #4 prostitute in all of kazakhstan . |
 Borat doing his best Freddy Mercury impression. |
 Borat, a human being. |
[edit] See Also
[edit] External Links
- Borat on Myspaces
- About Borat: in his own words.
- Live rendition of the hit song 'Throw the Jew Down the Well'.
- Borat Goes to Washington.
- Kazakhs still butthurt over Borat
- Kazakhstan's War of Words Against Borat.
- President Bush to hold Borat talks with Kazakhs after diplomatic row.
- Kazakhstan spends $40,000,000 on movie to counter Borat.
- Documentary trailer #1.
- Documentary trailer #2.
- Borat MP3 soundboard
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Borat is part of a series on Trolls. |
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