BlazBlue

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

The title for this anime fighting Game.

It is a serious story about the collapsing of time itself and the manipulations of more devious men.

BlazBlue: Calamity Trigger is a two-dimensional arcade fightin' game by Arc System Works, the staff behind the Guilty Gear series.

Plot

See anime, or for a better summary, make something up involving time travel, overlapping worlds, and anything you feel would belong in a Marvel comic except, you know, anime.

Characters

• Ragna the Bloodedge (AKA Sol 2.0): The main protagonist of BlazBlue who wields a massive sword that isn't at all compensating for anything. He plays similarly to Sol Badguy from the Guilty Gear series, in that he likes shouting awesome Engrish phrases. His belts and zippers, different colored eyes, impractical clothing, white hair, and enormously absurd weapon are evidence that he was designed by Deviantart.
• Jin Kisaragi: Ragna's brother and gay lover arch nemesis (Spoilers). He is batshit crazy despite his typical moralfag appearance. His drive allows him to freeze opponents. To win as him ride the ice car and mash C. The Ken of Blazblue.
• Noel Vermillion: A character who looks uncomfortably similar to Bridget from the guilty gear series /b/, but this doesn't keep fans from dreaming about fucking her as they drive to their shitty minimum wage jobs. She’s also a clone of some dead chick or something.
• Iron Tager: An intimidating individual that's easy to spam and is supposedly a nice guy beneath all that girth. His cell phone never gets reception.
• Taokaka: A wacky catgirl whose hobbies include being ADD, eating non-stop yet never getting fat, and talking about boobs. Has the most obnoxious voice in the game, but all attacks come with a free panty shot.
• Litchi Faye Ling: The obligatory pair of perpetually bouncing boobs. Fanboys jizz their pants whenever she's on screen, but since almost no one uses her it hardly matters. She wuvs Arakune.
• Arakune: An oil blob with a shy guy mask that summons insects, talk about original! Once he curses somebody, he automatically wins because a million bees will come from nowhere to rape them. Most hentai involves him and his girlfriend Litchi.
• Rachel Alucard: A loli vampire. Even though she appears to be a little girl, she is actually hundreds of years old and thus legal. A favorite of pedophiles.
• Bang Shishigami: Generic anime ninja character: loud, obnoxious, and never stealthy. Has a move that turns him Super Saiyan and plays his theme song bang a nail with a hammer!. He sweats a lot and has a massive boner for Litchi (like everybody else)
• Carl Clover: A kid with Aspergers that carries a doll everywhere that he calls his sister. Nobody plays him, but some sick fucks make shitty fanart of him screwing his sister or Taokaka (because apparently he's a furry as well).
• Hakumen: A shitty character that does not even have a normal drive gauge. He is Jin from another dimension or something. Bleach fans cum buckets for Hakumen.
• ν-13 (AKA NO): Mash D to win. She is Noel from another timeline. Broken character, but surprisingly is the only one that dies at the games end.

Fanbase

A phrase that makes Tourneyfags and regular player alike cringe.

Like many fightin’ games, BlazBlue has a wide variety of players who enjoy it…and by “wide variety” I of course mean 2 types.

• Faggot weeb nerds who set their language settings to grolious nihongo
• Wannabe tourneyfags who claim half the roster is broken, when in truth, half the roster sucks compared to Nu and Arakune.

Let it be noted that neither type actually enjoys playing the game, and spend most of their time talking about the game as opposed to actually playing it. The long-rumored third type, the reasonably skilled "Normal player", has in fact been extinct since the release of MvC2 on PSN and xbaux Live.

Gallery

The reason why half of the players pre-ordered the game.	Yeah cause this is what brothers do.	An anime character wielding a massive phallic symbol that isn't a sword. Now I've seen everything.	Jin recreating the face your uncle had on "that day".
The developers spent a lot of effort creating each character.	The original design for Carl Clover. Edited because a little boy appeals more to the Japs that buy this shitty game.	The upcoming movie.	Here is an artistic rendition of Carl's complex relationship with his puppet sister.

Jin Gallery

What happens when 90% of players start the game.	A mighty strategy that takes all possible actions the opponent might take into account.	Exploitable template that you too can utilize to make awesome Ice Car jokes.	Another hilarious flowchart.
Jin's cool ride.	A simplified one-button arcade stick for Jin. Take a wild fucking guess what the button is for.	A starting guide that all Jin players should examine thoroughly.	Save the planet, drive blue.

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