Bean

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

[edit] All about Bean

This photo has not been edited in any way. Yes, she really is that hideous.

KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!

DNW!

Insert joke HERE.

SHE FIGHT HER BATTLE LIKE STRONG WARRIOR!

MAN THE HARPOONS

Bean feeding her fat ass. JENNY CRAIG PLZ.

Oh lawd iz dat sum shooping to make herself skinnier right thar?

Bean on ED. She doesn't care, but she'll vandalize her ED anyway. BUT SHE REALLY DOESN'T CARE BECAUSE WE'RE THE LOSERS! NOT HER! NOT THE ONE WHO MASTURBATES TO NARUTO AND YU-GI-OH! LOL.

Bean, post eat attack

Wouldn't do with someone else's.

Bean, who apparently lives in Canada is also known as Beani, is a mild-mannered young woman and aspiring artist who makes her home on various art websites. And, by mild-mannered, I mean an absolute batshit insane, pseudo-nymphomaniac with an unhealthy obsession with various shitty cartoon characters popular with other dumbass weeaboos who is also prone to fits of swearing and lulz-fests, and by artist, I mean a talentless gothcake that needs to lay off the fried butter who makes herself feel better by tracing over other people's hard work.

Her recent ex-boyfriend is none other from that guy with ADD from Gamelife, Geoff Mendicino.

Even moar lulzy, though, is her massive e-ego, which is swollen to a size that rivals that of her fat ass. Watch what happens when you stop stroking it long enough to actually comment on her insanity and retina-burning quality of her work:

Bean likes coloring over other people's artwork and claiming it as her own.

The audacity of this girl is unbelievable, which is what generally happens when your slough of rabid followers convinces you that it's okay to steal others' art, because hey, it's the Internet, and that makes it AWWWRIGHTT. It's not like anybody will mind or anything!

People who claim her art is tracing are just jealous of her skills.

But what happens if a challenger appears? One of the following will occur:

• Bean calls big brother (a.k.a. two of her IRL friends whom she whored herself out to for protection) to flame the living hell out of her accusing enemy
• Bean calls upon sheep for back-up or sympathy
• Bean acts as though it doesn't affect her (but we all know it does because she cried on others' profiles and has threatened to leave)
• Instant comment deletion and block

In other words, typical butthurt teenager reactions. Can't face the audience and admit that you were wrong? Never fear, just hide the comment!

UPDATE 7/16/08: Bean's account of FanArtCentral was just unbanned. GENTLEMEN, it's become clear what we must do. We drove her off once -- WE MUST DO IT AGAIN! MAN YOUR HARPOONS IN THE NAME OF LULZ! UPDATE 7/17/08: ANONYMOUS CLAIMS VICTORY. Bean is once more banhammered from FAC.

Lulzy screenshots

	Butthurt by an 11-year-old.	BAAAAWWWWWWWWWWW	OMG BUTTHURT
MY HEART WILL GO OOON AAAAND OOOONNNNN	roflpwned by admin	how does i failed highschool??	I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK, THAT'S WHY I CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP
Bean comes to ED	Bean gets owned by the heavenly Saint Arsenic.	THAT WASN'T ACTLY BEAN POSTING PORN ON HENTAIFOUNDRY GAIZ	Bean has unrealistic expectations in life.
Oh for fuck's sake!	wuts sarcasm lol?!	"I just ... can't." I wonder why!	The news of her un-ban (and eventual re-ban) on FAC reaches her camp.

[edit] Artwork

We know, Bean, we know. BTW, what's that shit on your face?

People on the Internet are genuine assholes, but they're usually assholes for a reason. Bean has a quality about her that just inspires assholes from around the globe, and that reason is her stunning artwork involving her two goth Mary-Sues, Blair and Midori.

Blair

Blair likes Yami Malik from the hit children's animu Yu-Gi-Oh - a lot - and he wuvs her too. So much, in fact, that he magically became a tangible human being, married her, knocked her up (resulting in two teen pregnancies), attends the correctional ward of Domino High School with her, and lives happily with her and his two somehow magically teenage children. But that's not all! Their relationship goes far back into Ancient Egypt, where Yami Malik and Queen Blair ruled the.. er, other half of Egypt that the pharaoh didn't. Or something. According to a recent statement on a fellow art thief's picture, Blair is also now, apparently, a lesbian.

It's fairly obvious that Blair is simply a recolor of Talho from Eureka Seven, even though Bean fervently denies this. But we all know the truth.

How to make loinfruit, Egyptian Style.	According to Bean, the midget is her brother.	Needs moar placenta	Irony, oh fuck, the irony!
Her boobs look like a great big ass.		Her nipples follow you no matter where you go!	But gaiz she sayd she din't du eet!!

But wait, there's moar! In a fit of ego, she's decided to subject the poor innocent users of youtube to her self-absorbed faggotry!

Beani

Beani is her "hentai" character, featured only on hentaifoundry before she was banned for underage. Beani is one of Bean's oldest creations, and is an online caricature of herself, in all of her cock-sucking, vag-lapping glory, who engages in all the sordid sexual activities that Bean's cavernous, centipede-filled, sixteen-year-old girl vagina craves for.

New Mexico called, it wants Carlsbad Caverns back.

Beani as a furry. Someone call an ambulance, her vagina is falling off!

omg lief as a pornstar is so hard sometimes ;_;

fapfapfapfapfap

Midori

Once you see it, you can't unsee it!

Midori is Bean's exceptionally creative Tsunade recolor Naruto Mary-Sue. Bean abandoned Blair after Anonymous caught on that she was a thieving whore. Midori's the brand-spanking-new result of Bean's attempt to start a clean slate by tracing more images. She also happens to be Kakashi's sex bitch, having had some kind of special child with him. HOW DARE YOU FLAMERS ATTACK BEAN! SHE DELETED ALL HER TRACED IMAGES! A RECOLOR IS FINE TOO!

IT'S TSUNADE BUT EDITED. I wish I was able to color as well as Bean.	Yup. Not traced.		Kakashi's secret fetish is that he totally digs geriatric goth chicks.
KAKASHIMIDORY OTP	GO TEAM GAWTH!	There's too many things wrong with this drawing to even list them. Fucking hell. Someone should've done a falcon punch on the bitch.	Bitch should've STFU and made me a sammich.

Robin

New to the pack of awesome super-girls in Bean's mary sue parade is Robin, a Storm Hawks character. BUT WAIT YOU GUYS. THIS TIME IT'S DIFFERENT! Sure, she may be the object of Stork's (some seasick fag who's emo or something) crazy, bordering-on-stalker affections, but she doesn't like him back! Nope! Not one bit! Thus, they are not madly in luv, and is not a sue! She is very legitimately mean and cruel to him, and disapproves of his grotesquely out-of-character attempts at wooing her in usually non-sexual ways 100%.

Oh.

But wait.

Oh, well. Anyway, Robin is some sort of species that has three toes and some disfigured antelope face called merbs. And, apparently, her and Stock Exchange will be in love someday. That is, if her new obsession with Akira doesn't totally make her forget she ever shat this new skank out of her tiny brain. Being that she's just a baby to Bean's gallery, there aren't too many pictures of Bluebird yet. But fear not, she'll be spreading her sue feces all over devianTard soon enough!

Stork is so ronery at the prom since he's been spurned by our beautiful lone wolf ;-;

HAW HAW! NAKED!

Sorry, I just can't believe what a whore you are.

[edit] The beginning

In the time before time, Bean pranced around FAC like a goddess, eating up all the delightful fanart that her adoring fans drew of her super speshul character. However, things turned south when one day, a few users of Fanart Central pointed out on the forums that she had been stealing art. Cue shitstorm.

Shading too, amirite?

“	Your character, Blair, is a slut. Her sluttiness is undeniable. You have taken a 17-year-old girl, dressed her in clothing that would make a hooker ashamed and prance her around in provocative poses, proudly displaying the family assets to every Tom, Dick and Harry that walks by. face it: You would never wear the clothing Blair wears in public. She has frequent, unprotected sex with a male character she hooked up with. In fact, she's gotten PREGNANT from said sex and had a baby. She doesn't have that "healthy glow" of pregnancy, she's a knocked-up bimbo who got what was coming to her. And now some child gets to suffer on welfare and babysitters while bean-bag here works minimum wage 7-10 at McDonalds to support her brat.Do not call her sexy. I am not in the least bit attracted to that piece of trash	„
—sakurelf, FAC Member

“	Oh! I see your Feamle!^^ Then your probably just jelouse of all the Male and/or Female attention shes getting! X3	„
—Bean, Because according to her, if you don't think her characters are awesomely hot, you're just jealous.

After that, another by the name of Theaphelia went after her, along with others, but she was one of the few who hunted for the originals and slapped that loose clam in the face, thus resulting in image deletions. She continued to sass Bean but was blocked and deleted 90% of her comments as well. It was only a matter of time before she would break.

[edit] CupidStunt

Teh internetz makes me angy & hurt so gurdbai >:'(

This guy is Bean's older brother. Their love can sometimes be confused for incest, but what the hell? It's '07, it's okay for siblings to engage in sexual activities, right? CupidStunt, formerly known as xXSingSorrowXx before he was banned for constant harassment and flaming, will go ballistic if you say anything insulting to his sister. He will cuss you out and threaten to beat your face in, like a typical Internet Tough Guy, but in the end he will fail to see that no matter how hard he tries, he will never be able to beat your face in through the computer monitor.

UPDATE: Cupidstunt left FAC because he claimed that FAC was not good for his health and blood pressure. Success. One down, another few to go.

MOAR: Cupidstunt is NOT Blair's bother, but her pimp. Also, his name is a good opportunity for a highly appropriate spoonerism : "StupidCunt".

[edit] B*Kewt

B*KewT is not a Disney girl-band aimed at prepubescent audiences, as much as it may sound like it. It is, in actuality, the special, super-clever acronym for Bean and all her Sue-friends. Blair*Kairi Etsuko Wu Tiffany. See? Misspellings with trendy asterisks can be fun and convenient! Blair, the B in B*KewT, is a member of a small and exclusive group of fangirls that take the greatest delight in sitting around in a little circle jerk and wanking on each other's massive Internet (and possibly real life) penises. The girls are very proud of their acronym, to the point of having a fan club for it. It should be noted that outsiders are not allowed to join their group, but adoration and fanart of the girls involved is actively encouraged.

[edit] Personal Army

Last Thursday, a troll dangled the baited line in front of the slack maws of thousands of gullible retards. The troll was patient, but eventually got a bite and almost succeeded in making /b/ into their very own personal army. The troll was later revealed to be a FAC faggot by the name of Touzoku-Joou, who was already known to waste hours of their life trolling Bean's userpage as it was, and the thread eventually died a quiet, peaceful death. Nonetheless, it was fairly lulzy while it lasted.

<center>

Obvious troll is obvious.
		Cartoon tits do not suffice.
		Fake moot is just as faggy as real moot.	A shocking revelation!
A true Internet Detective right there.	Anonymous forgives?

[edit] Bean's Message to "Haters"

We're making her famous with her tracings, guys!

Summary: SOMEBODY CALL THE WAAAAAAAAAHMBULANCE!

[edit] Life Plan that `Blair` should follow.

Bean refuses to accept that she wasn't a 'victim'.

• 1. Stick gun in mouth.
• 2. Pull trigger.
• 3. ???????
• 4. PROFIT!!!

Seriously. Do it.

[edit] INCEST LOL

Bean loves her cream filling.

Bean and David's child. Awwww! SUPER KAWAII!!!! ^____^

Bean's brother, David. He enjoys spanking her ass and cumming in her fat taint. Bean, of course, loves every second of it. INCEST FTW.

Our precious Blair is quite obviously fucking her brother. She even wrote a story based on true events about her brother pulling down her pants and spanking her skanky, bratty ass with his belt before sticking it in and raping her. She discovered she liked being fucked by her hillbilly family, which explains why she's the huge slut she is today.

The story can be found here: http://www.fanart-central.net/story-43506.html

Although now it turns out that there is no David. For reasons best known to herself Bean made him up:

However, many suspect that there actually are older brothers in her family since Bean's explanation of having classmates pose as her siblings makes NO FUCKING SENSE.

It's theorized she's trying to hide David's existence so that the police won't end their incestuous buttfucking affair and take away their deformed hellspawn.

[edit] The forums

At Fanartcentral, the forums are serious fucking business. It's where the more intelligent (Note: use of the word "intelligent" is subjective) members of FAC gather to fellate each other on a daily basis in the Random subforum whilst bitching about how much they hate the mainsite because they have noting better to do with their lives. Though one day, shit turned serious when Silverkitsune posted a thread relating to Bean. http://forums.fanart-central.net/viewtopic.php?t=35848 Bitching takes place and cupidstunt pays a visit to this 'frame parade'.

After the slaughter and b&ing of her account, Bean tried to pretend she didn't care about her massive fail:

She subsequently ran to her army of dicksuckers to bitch and moan about how stupid FAC was for banning her ass.

Not surprisingly, Bean has a new FAC account, but it seems to exist only as troll fodder.

See also Possibly Bean, Same friends and registered just today to flame Beans bashers and to let them know that the ED article "sucked balls".

[edit] Ms. Bean Pays a Visit to ED

Once upon a time, a certain EDiot was making her rounds and noticed that the long unused discussion page had a post.

War was beginning...

Internet officer approves of Ms. Bean

Within minutes another joined the fray, causing Ms. Bean to shit bricks and threaten e-legal action to anyone hurting her precious baby. When not defending her "gifted" child's right to spew her stolen shit across the internet like Tubgirl's face, she engaged in rampant hypocrisy...

...Showed her expertise as a high school counselor...

...And pointed fingers and blamed everyone on ED for Blair's massive fail, every suicide ever, and all the wars in the world.

And when confronted with information that would have made even a mediocre parent's head explode with the realization that her daughter is a cumslut, she responded in an oddly calm fashion.

I know my mommy would be worried, but more about my posting of shitty porn and talking about my personal sex life on teh internets than people being OMG MEEN

Some say that Ms. Bean was Bean herself, as they both make the same idiotic mistakes in typing and are incapable of coherent thought. Ms. Bean also shows a remarkable know-how of internet slang for someone who can't even use her keyboard correctly. But it can't be Bean, because Bean DOESN'T care about ED and DOESN'T have to defend her e-glory! Or does she? The world may never know.

Bean, attorney at lol	I GONNA GET B& ON OTHER SITES OH NOES!		A fucking e-genius.
Bean? Is that you?
but i thought bean didnt have brothurs?!!1			I hope my mommy is as proud of me as Bean's mommy is of her.

[edit] Account Raid

Predictably, as soon as this article hit the front page, a legion of /b/-tards swept across the Internets to wreck havoc on Bean's DA page. Consequently, the results were lul-fucking-zy and would leave a hell of a mess for Bean to clean up next time she oozed her way to her computer.

tl;dr but still butthurt	Bean is S-M-R-T	It's like poetry.	She's leaving...NOT
What showed up shortly after she created her new account.	ORLY?	Bean's always supportive mommy.

One of her mindless zombie fans wrote a depressing, suicidal, epic poem for their precious blair/bean, once they found out she was gone, they broke down; http://www.fanart-central.net/chapter-74826.html

[edit] New Account

Bean has a new account on DeviantArt. She had said she was leaving to get a job, but apparently she realized that no one wanted to buy traced art and she was too much of a fucking whale to get a job as a hooker. Thus, she is back!

You now have your mission. ROUND TWO IS UPON US! RAID!

[edit] Truth Campaign

A campaign was started by two courageous EDiots to tell everyone on devianTART about Bean's--I mean, Hi-Lary's epic failure and art theft. They now face the temporary banhammer, and their return is awaited. Whether they will continue spreading the truth is unknown; they are, however, an example for people to follow. DO NOT WORRY ABOUT CONSEQUENCES. TROLL! FLAME! GET THAT WHALE OUT OF OUR TUBES!!

[edit] The Dead Boyfriend

Around a year ago Blair claimed she had a boyfriend who killed himself by overdosing or something to that extent. A few months after this, somebody started spamming her old FAC profile saying that it was her fault he killed himself. She threatened to quit but didn't because her sheep begged her not to.

But is there a dead boyfriend???????

After the spamming, Blair put a picture on her profile of her "dead boyfriend." But after some snooping on Myspace, I have found the same picture on a Myspace account. Is the person with this picture sometimes online?

The answer? Yes.

[edit] Bean and Kakashi

How Bean wishes Kakashi would react to her.

Kakashi's actual reaction.

[edit] TAKE THAT, PANCREAS!

Because she's such a SMART, RESPONSIBLE young lady with such caring, watchful relatives; Bean decided to go to a party and get herself drunk on her 'fave drink of all; Smirnoff'. The results? Torn esophagus and an inflamed pancreas ... as well as many LULZ!!! Of course, one can only wonder why God didn't just KILL her. She's not productive ... unless you count producing sad, sad Naruto fan characters who become pregnant as being productive.

Here's an account of the incident in Bean's own words.

[edit] Gallery of Utter Shit

Nny would kill you. Not kiss you.	So rebel.	Follow your own advice and slit your wrists, Bean.	Needs no caption.
Spanking fetish.	Moar spanking. [Hay, Isnt that some tracing of an animu called YuYuHakushit i see thar?]	Even moar spanking.	Anatomy, plz? And quality, too!
OMG! SO HARDKOREEEE!	Stolen character AND stolen style. Nice.	What the fuck .. ?	OH FUCK NO! YOU DO NOT BISHIE FAIRLY ODDPARENTS!
Yes, honey. That's exactly what you look like ... and I'm Pamela Anderson.	How many poor characters must she marry?	Did a six year old draw this shit?	After running out of poptarts, Bean decides to eat Lee's face.
Necrophilia is SO HAWT.	Blatant trace. Nice job.	YES! YES! BEAN, PLZ DO IT! BECOME AN HERO!	Bean LUUUUURVES being dirty sanchez'd.
...	I came.	So gawthic.	The green pube-rug makes me wet.
Another trace. Way to go!	"HOW?! HOW COULD I SPREAD MY AIDS?!"	The sight of 'Blair' made Marik vomit blood.	Yes. Yes, Bean. Whales ARE hard to tame.
Uhhh ... Need to add about a 100 pounds to that chick's figure to make it look like you, babe.	Great, another fucking awful Storm Hawks Mary Sue, just what we need.	LOOK AT THAT FUCKING ANATOMY. IT'S BEAUTIFUL, ISN'T IT?	Bean drew this to teach her friends how to properly draw anatomy .... yeah, I laughed, too..
He's a badass little bitch. You can tell because he's smoking.

[edit] Links

*http://www.fanart-central.net/profile-Bean.php The recently unbanned FAC account where it all began. UPDATE: Banned again! Anonymous wins!

• http://www.fanart-central.net/profile-YuckFou.php Possibly Bean but unknown
• http://honibuni.deviantart.com/ - Bean's secondary account for every CUTE AND ADORABLE AND KAWAIIII! ... I smell a raid target.
• http://shadenoir.deviantart.com/ - Bean's OTHER account. This time for her 'dark' stuff. ISN'T SHE JUST SO HARDKORE?
• Etsukoajibana - Bean's partner in crime
• Yumi-Misaki - Etsukoa and Bean's new weaboo fantard.
• http://hi-lary.deviantart.com - SHE FUCKING MADE A NEW ACCOUNT! RAID HER FAT DISEASED ASS!
• http://www.fanart-central.net/profile-toxicloveaffair.php - Bean's new account, named after her 'band', lol. Also, ripping off Newgrounds' old slogan.

* http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=113264757 - Myspace (LOL FRIENDS ONLY)(DELETED)

• http://encyclopediadramatica.com/B%2AKewT - Really shitty B*KewT article [One of Bean's sheep erased the article, someone redo rewrite it plz]
• http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/User:XxAloeVeraxX - Beans old ED account. Who gave this bitch an account?
• http://www.myspace.com/r_a_w_r_imadino - Bean's 29-year-old boyfriend. Pedobear? Scandalous! Not only that, hes also a juggafail.
• http://s135.photobucket.com/albums/q134/hilary_kool/?action=guestlogin - Her Photobucket, but it's private. Hackplz?
• http://hilarygawth.ytmnd.com/ - YTMND tribute to one of Hi-Lary's pieces.

* http://www.fanart-central.net/profile-Lary.php - She doesn't need FAC ... but she made another account -- and was promptly banned. Lulz.

• my_little_pony14@hotmail.com Her MSN

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