Batman
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
The Goddamn Batman is the bat-themed superhero made famous by DC comics in the late 30's and early 40's. Batman wasn't exactly original or ground breaking and certainly wasn't the first comic book character of his kind. You can tell because by the time Batman's creator got into the business, all the other good furry-themed superhero animals were obviously taken. However, Batman is said to be among the first complex comic book characters, as he is constantly dealing with his own personal demons, such as the loss of his parents, and his closet homosexuality. It should be noted that Batman WILL always have a way, which inspires many dreams shared by many people that he should just admit he's gay and An hero.
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The Joker
A clown themed supervillain. Joker is the hallmark Troll of the Batman franchise because, honestly, he's unpredictable and does everything just for shits and giggles. The Joker presents a paradox, as he always has plenty of money for his latest schemes, despite never actually being successful at stealing anything. One wonders why he just wouldn't just move to another town for his crime enterprises, or at least try using a fucking gun. Sadly, [[Heath Ledger|that gay cowboy who played the Joker died this past January of a drug overdose. Officials have suggested Daniele Fiorenza as a possible replacement, but, unfortunately, he is a tard. As if that was not enough, Batman began to pin the clown down assuming an ancient male response. As he did so, the sheet that covered his legs exposed bare flesh until finally tipping over, letting Batman do what he hungered for. He wasn’t thinking about his reputation as Gotham’s most eligible bachelor, it didn’t cross his mind about the possible tarnishing of his name at Wayne Enterprises. Caution was thrown to the wind when Batman pressed his muscle bound build onto Joker’s who accepted the reversed role by spreading his thighs and letting the detective undo his robe and meet with his white trembling body.Why no one kills this cum faced cunt is the reason this is a fantasy story, and is proof that gotham city makes springfield look intelligent.
Joker's also a fan of Bel-Air's apparently:
Other Villains
The Batman has a complete set of villains not played by Heath Ledger. Batman villains all have strong themes, such as a sexual attraction to Alice in Wonderland, and they are all batshit insane. Batman villains include:
- Poison Ivy - Likes plants so much she became one, best friends with Harley Quinn, the Joker's whore.
- Catwoman - Fortunately not a furry.
- Man-Bat - A furry.
- Clock King - A jerk who hates the mayor.
- Killer Croc - Also available in Spiderman.
- Mister Freeze - His real name is "Victor Fries".
- Riddler - Faggot
- Calendar Man - No, really.
- The Ventriloquist - Recently became a hot chick.
- Cockmongler
Robin
Robin is Batman's shota sidekick, and "adopted son". He specializes in hand jobs, and getting captured by the Joker. He is deeply in love with Batman and is often found trying to seduce him by wearing his faggy short tights. Robin in general is an all-around bitch. When not trying to get into Batman's pants, or getting his ass kicked, he can be found fapping to furry art.
Batmobile
Either the most badass or gayest car ever, depending on which series you are watching/reading. The best thing about the Batmobile is that if you happen to run anyone over while driving it, then there's pretty much no doubt as to who did it, so you could probably get away with anything. The only thing Batman hates moar than chocolate ice cream is people making fun of his car.
Alignment
Batman is consistently the character who's alignment is subject to constant debate, and seems to defy the conventions of the system. Given the sheer amount of time that Bat-Fans have on their hands, you think they would figure out this shit eventually. Here are the fruits of their lack of labor:
The Dark Knight
The latest film in the Batman saga, The Dark Knight is considered by all the top critics to be the greatest thing to ever happen to them since their last excursion in totally legitimate reproductive intercourse.
The Dark Knight hit the number one spot on imdb's best movies of all time list within an hour of its release and then garnered more money than the first Star Wars film, solidifying it as "one of the most awesome movies of all time". Despite this, when the movie came to Japan the inhabitants of Godzilla-land showed zero interest for the film. The Mummy 3, What Happens in Vegas, and Sex in the City all had higher box office intake than The Dark Knight. Why so unpopular? It has to do with Japan's utter hatred for manly men who have to shave, have a baritone voice, and muscles. Japan likes heroes that look like androgynous pop idols who whine about how sad they are. The sheer manliness of Christian Bale probably made the entire country tremble in fear.
Since critics said that Heath Ledger (more like Heath DEADger, amirite?) is likely to get an Oscar he got one, retards lined up for hours to watch this masterpiece. Too bad it was about as entertaining as British porn, but at least you get to see Batman's dong, thanks to the new batsuit. Oh, and he's probably not going to be in the sequel.
Bat-Poetry
Then his parents got dead.
And then Batman got pissed off, so then he fucked-off to Princeton.
And then he fucked-off to China to be a ninja because his parents were dead.
Batman went back home to Earth and said “I will become Batman.”
And he became BAT-MAN.
Then Batman dicked around for a bit…
Then Batman said “I need a Bat-buttmobile.”
But Morgan Freeman said “NO! You get a tank because you suck dick!” and germs killed the martians…
So Batman fucked around for a while and then there was a guy with a potato-sack for a head and he said “Fuck You!”
And Batman said “No…Fuck you.”
Then Batman made him get dumb.
Then there was a ninja on a train that said “Everyone in this city is a dick-butt!”
So Batman said “Enjoy your choo-choo to dick-fuck town.”
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 Robin, deploy the Bat-Jizz! |
 No exceptions! |
 Batman rapes Robin. |
 Always testing the bat pole. |
 Teamwork is the key to their crime fighting success. |
 Hmmmmm |
 Other Batman villains. |
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 Why so rule 34ed? |
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See Also
- Superman
- Spider-man
- Comic Book Fans
- Heath Ledger
- Battim
- The Dark Knight IMDb Board
- Daniele Fiorenza
- Superdickery
- Why So Serious?
- Why So Exploitable?
- Watchmen
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