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Basement-dweller

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Basement dweller (identity concealed to prevent embarrassment ugly).
Basement dweller (identity concealed to prevent embarrassment ugly).
A typical basement-dweller's desk
A typical basement-dweller's desk
The common basement-dweller coming up for wings and tits. The man in this photo is GrandMastaThief of rotteneggs.com
The common basement-dweller coming up for wings and tits. The man in this photo is GrandMastaThief of rotteneggs.com
Typical reaction of a basement-dweller in the outside world.
Typical reaction of a basement-dweller in the outside world.

A commonly-used phrase that describes socially inept losers — Fanboys, cosplayers, nerds, slashfic authors, libertarians, anarchists, trekkies, and encyclopedia dramatica users, in other words: people who fear that the light of day will expose them for the freaks they are. Thus, they still dwell in their parents' basement, living off pizza and KFC.

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[edit] Habitats

Note, however, that while most basement-dwellers do indeed live in a basement, this is not always the case. A basement-dweller needs only to live under the care of their parents long after he or she has the faculties necessary to become a contributing member of society. This includes being a twenty year old unemployed college dropout whose mother pays your rent, like User:EternalTanelorn.

Excluded from the title basement-dweller are people who live with their parents for legitimate reasons. Some examples of this include:

  • Living at home between semesters of college or during full-time college study.
  • Living at home because of financial problems that do not stem from irresponsibility or laziness.
  • Living at home to assist in the care of one's own elderly parents. However one must remember there is a difference between "living with mommy", and "living off of mommy."

However, typically we overlook these exclusions and apply the title "basement-dweller" at will.

Typical basement-dwellers are needlessly burdensome on their parents, demanding (like three year olds) that they continue to live out their sheltered life at home. Most of their time is taken up masturbating to furry porn and online sex games, going to nerdish conventions, eating cheese doodles, and playing D&D. In addition, as completists they spend an inordinate amount of time on the Internets, using IRC, LiveJournal, partaking in Bandwidth_envy, and arguing vehemently over their particular branch of fandom. And yes, you will still be a basement-dweller, even after you've finished building your new "v0.1 2X Overdrive dual-ballast dual-T8-tube 128W 6500k daylight fluorescent light."

How can I tell an otherwise typical lol-cow is a basement-dweller?

There's a drop ceiling in their hideous webcam stills, and there's no way that said ceiling is in their "office," as they will claim.

[edit] Basement-Dwellers & Trolls

No - not trolls like ED and 4Chan, but the mythical creatures from Scandinavia.


Trolls often suffer from greasy skin and warts - caused by an a lack of washing and living off junk food brought down by their moms every 30 minutes, because they are literally unable to move from in front of their computers. They also suffer from poor eyesight and rotten teeth, caused by the endless glare of the internet and grinding their teeth during flame wars.

Their biggest problem is their weight - they are either grossly bloated or hideously skinny. The ones with neckbeards are funnier, particularly when couples with moobs.


Of course the majority of basement-dwellers are actually trolls, and vice-versa.

[edit] Hikikomori

引きこもり. Japanese basement-dweller.


 
“ 		 
Hikikomori live a nocturnal life, in a deep depressive state, far from social responsibilities ( school, work, family) and activities. Even sexuality is often virtually lived and connected to a sexy manga heroine.
  		„
 

—Francesco Jodice, describing the subject of his film


Interestingly enough, hikikomori seem to feel that they've got it worse than their western counterparts. A Japanese basement-dweller will often explain that Japanese culture is so simultaneously repressive and demanding that they've never properly adapted to it, causing them to wet themselves if they venture out into the public. Unlike their western counterparts, it is estimated that more then half of all Hikimori abuse/ beat their parents, which makes them far more cooler while remaining anti-social losers. Male hikikomori may also explain that they feel they lack social role models because their fathers are entirely pussy-whipped. The large percentage of western basement-dwellers who have to import their Pocky and download their shota likely beg to differ.

Rozen Maiden has a hikikomori as a main character. Much like Neon Genesis Evangelion before it, having a loser protagonist they could identify with meant that American weeaboos latched onto the show like parasitic morays, only this time the "sexy manga heroines" and cartoon lust objects weren't overstacked expressionless doll-like girls, but ACTUAL DOLLS.

For a light hearted and accurate look at the life of a Hikikomori, see the delightfull shareware game, Yume Nikki. In it, a young girl overcomes her deepest fears and becomes an hero to Hikiomori and Weaboo all over the world.

[edit] Music

It is well known that #1 music for basement dwellers is by far nu metal. But they also listen to j rock, J pop, techno, rave, reggae, rap, video game music and sometimes emo. Here's a little list of bands that make BD cream their pants.

[edit] Gallery

Alternate basement setup

Typical basement-dweller looking at porn

A Dweller's worst fear: being discovered outside by the pod people!

Wignedwolf,basement dwelling furry magickian.

Basement dweller AND a pedophile!

Congratulations graduate! Now GTFO!

a weeaboo pedophile in his pathetic basement

[edit] See Also

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