Baby P

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Jump to: navigation, search


Baby P holding the camera like a classic myspace whore
The cure for broken ribs, if symptoms persist, try jelly
This page contains spoilers — Important plot secrets and/or conclusions may be revealed. For example,
HOLY SHIT I guess they decided to get an abortion after all!!!1

Baby P is the fiendishly clever pseudonym given by the British media to a 17 month old boy who was recently pwned by useless parents, to protect his identity. PROTIP: His name was Peter Connolly. This is the second time in recent years that British social care has come under fire for failing to prevent children fucking dying, the first being Victoria Climbié (aka: "Baby Poo"), who was just some nigger who was starved of delishus watermelonz, so nobody cared.

The anti-ana troglodyte of a mother allowed her boyfriend and lodger to beat the shit out of the toddler, and despite 60 visits from health and social workers, and 3 visits to the hospital after ritual beatings, doctors failed to notice that the baby's spine and ribs were broken as a result of large dongs. Social workers were fooled into allowing the mother to keep the child after she cunningly SMEARED FUCKING CHOCOLATE over the baby to hide the bruises.

The British media have once again come out of erectile dysfunction and straight into righteous hysteria, jumping on the bandwagon of morality. However if a Dad random guy fucking a child's mother can't beat that child, how will it ever learn?

 
“ 		 
The mother was a slob, completely divorced from reality. She was living in a dream world and put her lover before her child. She closed her eyes to what was going on.


 

„
 

—A policeman yesterday

The Symptoms

  • Eight broken ribs and a broken back, with another area of bleeding around the spine at neck level.
  • Numerous bruises, cuts and abrasions, including a deep tear to his left ear lobe, which had been pulled away from his head.
  • Severe lacerations to the top of his head, including a large gouge which could have been caused by a dog bite.
  • Blackened finger- and toenails, with several nails missing; the middle finger of his right hand was without a nail and its tip was also missing, as if it had been sliced off.
  • A tear to his frenulum, the strip of skin between the middle of the upper lip and the gum, which had partially healed.
  • One of his front teeth had also been knocked out and was found in his colon. He had swallowed it.
  • In short, he got fucking pwned.

Gallery

Kill it with fire.

Good with kids.

Advice whale knows.

R.I.P Master P.

Baby Pee.

Time to revise your motto.

BOOM! Headshot!

A baby pea.

awwright.

Rule 34.

Is he supposed to look like a nigger when I spread chocolate on him?

Rule 34

Get on it. It got on.

The Bel-Air

 
“ 		 
Now this is the story all about how,

My spine got snapped, turned upside down, And I'd like to take a minute just listen to me, I'll tell you how I became a corpse known as Baby P.

In North London born and raised, In the hospital is where I spent most of my days, Bruised and beaten to within an inch of my life, Had my fingertips sliced off with a Stanley knife, Because a couple of guys liked to choke me till I'm blue, Pull out my fingernails, set the dog on me too, The council investigated and my mum got angry, She said "We'll break your back and you'll die in Haringey.

Over her boyfriend's knee, my spine went crack, Then I lay there paralysed with a broken back, If anything I could say that this shit was gay, I was dying in a filthy cot for two whole days.

Then I got punched in the face about once or twice, I swallowed a tooth and thought, "yo, that ain't nice! That's the end of my story, it was the end for me, That's how I became known as the Baby P.
 

„
 

Facebooks

If you live in the UK and own a Failbook account, chances are you've had at least 100 requests to join the Facebook group JUSTICE FOR BABY P. With over 120 000 members, this group is primarily a place for tabloid reading fucktards, 16 year old girls and conservative keyboard warriors to BAWWWW over a baby they didn't even know or to complain about da man. Other purposes of the group include promoting countless petitions and trying to sell NEVAR 4GET blue ribbons (which also represent prostate cancer)

DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING


 
“ 		 
What they should do is BREAK 8 OF THEIR RIBS BREAK THEIR SPINE BEAT UM & COVER IT UP WIV CHOCOLATE & THEN THEY SHOULD KILL UM JUST TO SEE HOW IT FEELS!!!!!!!!!!!! IF YA GET WHAT IM SAYIN ? BECAUSE What did Baby P Do to Deserve this ? ? ?


 

„
 

—Kristina, clearly wasn't beaten enough as a child.

 
“ 		 
Although your body has left us,

Your heart and Soul go on, I really cant believe baby P has gone, As tears roll down our faces, And splash upon the ground, As peacfull as the place we hope you now have found, Playing with the fairies and angels in the sky watching from above as this evil world goes by.

Rest in peace Baby P , Sweet Dreams. x x
 

„
 

—Karren's poem is no Bel-Air

Calls for a new Facebook group, "Baby P got owned" have been circulating, but no action has been taken, just in case experts in anti lulz protest. Disregard that I suck cocks the group has already been created

Bebo

Like failbook, if you use Bebo the chances are you've been invited to join one of these fucktarded groups. The only difference here is, the comments and memberships are entirely from 13 year old girls, and therefore using either caps lock, numbers in the place of letters or a general over-abundance in kisses.

In other words, FUCK1NG iiDIOTS, RIP BABEE P xxx..

Another feature you will find on these groups is people leaving comments calling the parents "cunts", "ugly" and "sickos", or some variation on that. This is coming from people with countless X's in their names and pictures that make the fat girl angle shot look subtle.

You are advised to take a seat, right over there. troll the fuck out of these immediately!

JewTube

A man who cannot use a mic learns to read.

What really happened:

See Also

External links



Baby P

is part of a series on
Child Abuse
Types of CP

Ameriloli • Amerishota • Baby fuck • Jailbait • Lolicon • Shotacon • Toddlercon

Retrieved from "http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Baby_P"
Personal tools