Boyfriend
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Boyfriend is a hybrid word. It is a conjunction of "Boif" (the Old-English for "Life") and "Rend" ("To Tear Apart").
"Boyfriends" are basically single-whore Johns, but without the possibility of getting a refund if they don't get the service they expected. Typically you can spot the elusive "boyfriend" while out-and-about, simply by observation:
If a male and female are:
- Laughing and joking
They are friends, probably platonic (but possible ex-fuckbuddies). Perhaps they went to college together?
- Laughing and Joking (female only)
They are friends, but the guy is desperately trying to fuck the girl. She, however, has B& him to the friend zone.
- Laughing and Joking (male only)
Blind date. And it's not going well for the poor fucker.
- Quiet and contemplative, talking occasionally
They are brother and sister, or possibly congenitally deaf?
- Bored and resigned
That's a married couple.
- She won't shut the fuck up and he looks like his bank account is being fucked in the ass
Bingo! They are boyfriend and girlfriend.
How to get a Boyfriend
- For chix0rs
- Wear tight clothes and act like a slut. Hang out in bars, get drunk a lot and don't be afraid to give the odd blowjob. Also helps to claim to be bi-curious.
- For teh ghey bois
- Wear tight clothes and act like a slut. Hang out in bars, get drunk a lot and don't be afraid to give the odd blowjob. Also always carry condoms and use sexual innuendo (in-YOUR-endo, amirite?) as much as possible.
How to lose a Boyfriend
- For teh ghey bois
- Claim to have voted against CA Prop-8[1], and drop un-subtle hints about being monogamous.
 Boyfriend is part of a series on Dying Alone | Those Who Have Died Alone
Anna Nicole Smith | Brandon Crisp | Charmaine Dragun | Codey Porter | George Sodini | Heath Ledger | Lilo | Megan Meier | Michael Jackson | Mitchell Henderson | Otoya Yamaguchi | Ricardo Lopez | Ripper | Rudolph Zurick | Shawn Woolley | Tyler Dumstorf Those Dying Alone Ahotwheelscar | Anonymous Borg | Argent009 | Bikerfox | Bob Rehahn | ByAppointmentTo | Chris-chan | Chuck M. | David Hockey | Epic fat guy | Fagolescents | GoddessMillenia | Kevin Havens | Lecarick | Nathan Gale | Nullcherri | Pit Viper | Ricki Raven | Rootbrian | Sceptre | Snapesnogger | TheSockDetective | Ulillillia Their Methods 4chan | AIDS | Anime | Booze | Bullying | Dead Friend | DeviantART | Drugs | Fleshlight | Self-seclusion | IRC | Jenkem | Lego | LiveJournal | Lonely | MMORPGs | MUDs | MySpace | Online dating | Online sex games | Plastic Crap | Plenty Of Fish | Vloggerheads | YouTube |
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