Argentina
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Argentina is what happens when God allows Italians to breed with Squaws.
Then throw some German into the mix and force them all to speak Spanish. The Squaw prevails, but with enhanced skin grease, curly greasy hair, and Sadism.
People from Argentina are fucking weird. Seriously fucking weird. Every single town has its own accent, and you can never fully speak the language, which derives from Spanish but is more offensive. It's usual in Argentina for men to date younger women, but in late years they've been pushing it, to the point where pedophillia is legal. The entire population of Argentina are either psychopaths, dorks, lamers, gnomes, or pedophiles. Argentina has come up with some of the sluttiest women, shemales and gayest men ever. There is another article in this comprehensive Encyclopedia that describes Argentina in its most intimate essence. It uses centigrade, the bastard child of Celsius and grams as its temperature measurement system.
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Current Rule
Argentina is a thriving democracy, as of last week, where citizens can freely chose their representatives and have their rights guaranteed by a badly translated, plagiarized, U.S. Constitution. As an effeminate country with a Pink White House, the current President is Eva Peron v 2.0, now with moar botox! Her policies are illuminated by the grace and wisdom of her lovers Hugo and Fidel (indication she might be into necrophillia). Since voting is mandatory, and 51% of Argies are malnourished yet overweight mongrelized Euroniggers, there is no possible doubt that Evita 2 was democratically ellected. Some say she is kind of hot looking because of much of my tax-dollars spent on botox and shit, but neck down she is like your gramma. Reverse butterface. Her cabinet consists of respected Maoist Terrorists of the 70s and other prestigious capomafias and cocaine traffickers. Notice that, like in Venezuela, the opposition is bothered that the current government is not Maoist and Terrorist enough. One can get an idea of Argie politics by either watching the movie Hoffa while tripping on a cactus, or by really paying attention at Idiocracy.
Bel Air
Argentina's capital city, Bel Air, spelled Buenos Aires by the mongrelized natives, is filled with crazy bullshit. In the same square foot you may find an hero, a cat, a cabecita, a shemale and a pretty woman (who is probably underage, so do! this is south of tha bordah). The city is divided in several parts, and getting lost is easier than finding cats on the internet. If you do get lost head for the barrios around Boca at night wearing a River shirt, Los Bosteros will offer the quintessentially warm hospitality of their neighbourhood.
The Falklands War Guerra de las Malvinas
In 1982, Argieland was under a token Kissinger-Mandated anticommunist dictatorship, with all the torture (including electrocuting of Human Science teacher's genitalia and drowning ppl in their own shit), random rape and death by crucifixion this entails. They soon realized that something had to be done to distract the populace from the random killings, though. It was then that faggoty leader Leopoldo Galtieri devised his master plan. As less wasted leaders did in the past, he would pay FIFA to let Argentina win the World Cup, and everyone would be happy. However, for no apparent reason, he went batshit insane and decided to go down to teh dockz to gather rowing boats for the Argentinian Navy to invade the Falklands.
In at least 1 month of intense preparation he amassed the following naval force:
- An old rustbucket cruiser
- 300 wooden boats
- Commandeered fishing ships
- 2 dinghys
- A donkey
-
Shit loads of cool Exocet missiles given free to the Argies by the French as soon as they realised Britain was at war with Argentina.</strike NOPE, ONLY TWO FUCKING EXOCET MISSILES BECAUSE THE FRENCH GOT SCARED. AND IF THERE WERE ANY EXTRA THEY WERE SOLD BY GALTIERI ONTHE BLACK MARKET
Galtieri was known to smoke pot during leadership at the time, because somehow he thought a cruiser from World War II would've been able to sink two aircraft carriers, an entire frigate convoy, and fend off aircraft attacks. It is a fact, though, that the backward sheep-like populace rallied in support.
Noone knew how the fuck the Argentinians would win, as the Falklands belonged to England, and everyone knows that the Royal Navy would pwn the shit outta anything that threatened England's sovereignty.
With his WWII cruiser and his many Amerindian powered canoes, Galtieri began his suicide mission. In 2 days, the ship finally sank, ensuing a lot of lulz.
Guerra en los Caminos
Over 9000 people die on the roads of Argentina every second because machismo dictates that driving your 18 wheeler full of unrefined dulce de leche down the centre of the road while drunk on aguadiente, unable to see because your eyes are full of tears from thinking about the injustice of the fate of Gauchito Gil, is perfectly acceptable.
Borges
Jorge Luis Borges was an Argentine science fiction writer who at least 100 years ago predicted that a collaborative encyclopaedia full of made up stuff would take over the world; its nonsense facts replacing the actual truth of real life goddammit.[1] As a result, he was denounced as a Jew hater by those that run things. Because throughout his childhood his first name was mercilessly pronouncemd "You're Gay" by even his best friends he decided to renounce sex and instead invented post modernism.
The Country of Balls
Ballers are the main professionals in Argentina, because balls"balling" is Argentinian for whining and crying, the sorts of things that liberals do in other nations when the neocons run the government. You can see a picture of typical Argentinians in the above paragraph picture, notice the women's purses that are a required attire for a Baller. Ballers most always wear a sporting uniform like those used to play Soccer, or "Futbol" as Argies call it because they also use centigrade.
The ones who are not ballers are cartoneros, trashy people living off trash, homeless Amerindians high on jenkem who literally feed off the garbage they pick into in the city. They are much like raccoons, but in a bigger, moar devastating scale, as they horde into the city every evening picking crap into trash bags, looking for food left over to lick off their nutritional daily base and collecting pricey plastic to sell to recyclers in exchange for Paco, that drug made of crack, cat shit and broken glass. This is exactly what Truman Capote meant when he referred to Buenos Aires as the closest thing to Tiffany's.
It is a well known fact that nobody from Argentina ever made a damn difference in this world. Even Che Guevera didn't make a difference apart from being on those gay t-shirts that college students wear to get hippie pu55y.
Tango
Tango is an orange flavoured carbonated beverage invented by Urugays as revenge after the German battleship Graf Spee nearly caused Argentina and Uruguay to have another shitty South American war. Tango was unleashed upon the Argentines by firing it across the Rio de la PlataEstuario del Fango using orcish ballistas, causing those who supped its sugary goodness tremor, akathisia and a homosexuality only relieved by dancing with women while dressed up all fancy. It has been described as vertical sex, when any fule kno you can have proper sex standing up and all that gimmicking with your legs like a spastic is beyond gay. Not being allowed to invent any drinks of its own Argentina had yet another shitty South American war with Chile and/or Peru about who invented the pisco sour, which, like any self-respecting alcoholic drink, has eggs in it.
Peronism
This is Argentina's own brand of fascism. It started with Dictator Juan Domingo Peron, famous for having served in WWII on the German front. His ambition was to one day be able to rule planet Earth, by exterminating blacks, Jews and Squaws.
Sometime after his violent rise to power, an runaway teenage pornstar became First Lady, this is usual in Argie higher spheres of power. Her name was Eva Peron. She was a mix of Squaw and Italian basque, as most a few Argies are and which makes them extremely unattractive. Even more unattractive than Puerto Ricans and other Niggers. His will was done, Amen, and by His grace only, Eva died soon after, during an operation that was supposed to help fix her massive nose.. That was the LORD's last act of kindness towards Argieland because the country is still rulled bt Peronist fucktards who were terrorist leftists during Kissinger's mandate.
Economy
- 70%: No way! we are on strike.
- 60%: Hugo Chavez
- 07%: They buy cocaine from Bolivia and sell it in Spain or Israel for profit to buy a new land rover for the kids.
Notable Argentinians
- Che Guevera
- Pedophile Nazis.
- Luciana Salazar.
- Maradona,also known as Maradroga
a fat, disgusting, coke addict,cheater soccer player. He is also the Argentinian God and the faggest player to ever step on a soccer/football pitch. - Florencia de la V
- Ricky Darré, High Priest of the Third Reich
- God
- Eva Peron
- Juan Domingo Peron
Types of Argies
People from Argentina are to be referred to as "Argentinians" or "Argies," and only elitist buttfucks insist on calling them "Argentines."
- Cabecitas: Argie's version of niggers to be called Prarieniggers. They steal, do drugs, can't read and have the IQ of an African. Much like Sandniggers in Europe, Prairieniggers in Argentina fuck a lot and fail to abort (mainly because they use their toddlers as panhandling rookies) and so they are fucking everywhere. The government knows this (Peron discovered it) so they get payed to vote for whoever candidate offers them some future. They have their own slang, which is based on fifty, probably random, words repeated very fast while shaking a hand, challenging others to fight no apparent reason.
- Chetos: It's a complete social class that behaves fully as 16-year-old girls (even men behave like that). They think they are better so they hate everything and everyone. 99% of them have a pickup truck. They speak an abridged version of Valley Girl consisting of three interchangeable diatribes: "o sea" ("I mean"), "tipo" ("like"), "me entendés?" ("you know") followed by "a full" ("totally")
- Tequitos: Argentina's Asians. They pretty much have the same culture as chinks, gooks, flips, and japs. Not to mention, they have little dicks. Like the regular Asians, Tequitos are even born with a little dick or a little ass. Male Tequitos are born with little dicks, and female Tequitos are born with little asses. In fact, the majority of Tequitos in Argentina are males.
- Emos: They are everywhere! Everyone hates them over Argentina, too, because they are stupid (even more so than the other kind of Argies). Their slang is a derivation of that of Chetos, only they speak softly and add "odio todo" ("I hate everything") and "sangre" ("blood") every few words.
- Nazis: The country has been secretly runned by Martin Borman since 1945. Low-rank nazis abound everywhere but they are not allowed to attack the equally numerous jews, because as everyone knows, jews and nazis have "secretly" united to rule the world at least 100 years ago.
- Jews:In most cases Ashkenazis mixed with Goyim Germans and other Eastern Europisches weissetrash, they own all industry, all the media, all real estate and -secretly- the Peronist Party. There are some "pure" Jews, most of Sephardic background, who believe in God and refuse to marry outside the inmediate family (no one knows which is the cause and which the consequence).
- Pretty girls: There are pretty girls everywhere. Srsly, everywhere. Turn around and you'll see a ready-for-ass-fuck girl in every street. Most of Argentina's women are doable, so, for the balance, most men are ugly. Pretty girls talk with their bodies, and everyone listens. Many foreigners will ask you how pretty they are, because they have no
- Shemales: In recent years there has been an increase in the number of "confused" men. Their number one excuse is "I was meant to be a girl but was born in the wrong body". Bullshit, you are a man. It's a Trap! Shemale slang is terrible. They talk like women, only with thick male voices.General Argentinian women should not be confused with shemales, as this is a Roman Catholic dominated country there is always plenty of hideously ugly women around.
- Regular Argies: They are mid-class people who believe they actually think and blame the government for everything. Their slang often is mixed with others for the lulz, but they usually don't talk. They suck.
- The Police: A recent survey by your mom has showed that their police force is one of the world's finest, completely free of corruption (except for shooting odd niggers, but who cares about them, all they are is a bunch of big lipped wankers that cause trouble)
- Floggers or Glams: Easily comparable to the scenester and the emo kids, flogger
is Argentina's first alternative label evarActually not true. Came to be after they finally discovered internet disease through fotolog.com (hence "flogger"), a ghastly Web 1.0 mix of MySpace and LiveJournal, which they update with one picture (the limit) andemo lyricsan entry. They dress in bright pants and v-shirts and can always be found in groups at clubs, adorned with sunglasses, and showing who can do the flogger dance (el baile flogger) better, a charming series of kicks and jumps. EVERYONE hates them, probably because they reflect the superficiality of their environment in general. They're well known for trolling about their appeal via IRL so try to stay away from them as far as possible.
Use of the word Negro
- In the morbid Argie slang, Negro is an affectionate vocative reserved for the lighter-skinned upper-class males, or cheto. The Whiter the person is, the more likely it is he is going to be called, or call his rich white friends, Negro. When the person uses "Negrito" (Li'l Nigger) instead, he means he now considers you a close friend and is therefore prepared to ask you for some money he's never going to return. Getting financially defrauded by an Argie means they have accepted you into their select circle of fail and you should feel honored.
- Negro de Mierda (Nigger of Shit -> Shitty Nigger or Scheissesnigger for our Coprophiliac friends) on the other hand means exactly the opposite of the above. It is a derogatory term used by "Rich" "Whites" to refer to the delinquent half-Squaw half-Guido population. Since the typical Argie has never seen an African in his life, the Guido Mongrel is the darkest skinned people they know. In recent years there has been in fact a handful of Patois-speaking Africans infiltrating Argentina, but people just ignore their presence and vane attempts of selling you fake male jewelry in an attempt to get rid of them through indiference.
Argies Hate:
- Peruvians
- Bolivians
- Chileans
- Colombians
- Puerto Ricans
- Brazilians
- Americans
- Other Argentinians
- Azns, especially Chinese.
- Spanish
- Italian
- Ppl with money
- Ppl without money
- Mexicans
- Work
- Basically, they hate themselves
Achievements (if any)
- Utter isolation and history re-writing to the point when they think they have invented stuff that actually originated in the rest of the world decades before they "achieved" it.
- Being even more obnoxious than Americans while travelling to a foreign country.
Trolling Argies
Trolling members of the Argie Volk is quite unnecessary since they make a pretty good job of doing that themselves. However, for a petty flame war that guarantees fast results just point out:
- Maradona's goal against England was made with the hand.
- The Rio de la Plata (River Plate) is actually an estuary and not even the widest one (that title being hold by The St Lawrence).
- The ball pen was invented by a Hungarian, not an Argie.
- The Falklands are not called Malvinas, and they aren't never have been and never will be Argie.
- They do not have any prerogative whatsoever in the invention of the bus, the sewing machine, the identity document, the first helicopter, animated cartoons, the traffic lights for the blind, disposable syringes, soccer, the ball, caramel or god.
- Call Argies "nigger" even though black people are rare in Argentina. Americans, most of whom are black, enjoy projection.
- They don't have the best soccer team of the world, otherwise they would have won more than 2 world cups.
- The best asses in the world are Brazilian, not Argentinian.
- Their music bands suck ass and are just poorman's rip-offs of other North American bands.
- They are even moar hypocritical and retarded than most [Americans] (an amazing feat in and of itself), and they don't know how to fucking drive a goddamn car for shit.
- Just tell them Perón was BFF with Hitler.
- Remind them how their god Maradona went to rehab and got fat.
- The entire Colombia team were high when they beat Argentina.
- Tell them dulce de leche tastes like vomit.
EPIC BUTTHURT!!
External Links
See Also
