Antonie Dixon

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Antonie Dixon was a meth addled bogan redneck from West Auckland, who failed to become an hero after a two week long rampage across New Zealand in 2003 that culminated in him attacking and cutting off the hands of his ex-girlfriend and her friend with a Samuari sword.

[edit] Family life

Dixon was raised in a boarding house by a strict and fanatical mother who did her best to teach little Antonie to be a good boy, but as a teenager, he quickly gravitated towards a life of crime and gang violence.

[edit] Ants crawling up the walls

Despite outward appearances, Dixon was not at all high on P during his rampage - indeed, the entire episode can be explained by the intimate relationship that Dixon developed with a goblin and his entourage of cackling gremlins:

The gremlin told the court that he was chuckling because Dixon was "a fucking funny cunt"

[edit] Failed to become internets sensation

Dixon's rampage caused widespread shock and outrage to a New Zealand public more used to garden variety domestic violence and child abuse. It was not until his initial court appearance that the true lulz of the situation became clear, as the widely published photos of Dixon's insane haircut and stare in the dock became subject of a surge in email traffic as bored fucktards and beaureucrats were unable to resist the temptation of finger pointing and laughing. Use of a samurai sword may also have contributed to lowering the give a fuck factor of popular perceptions towards this crime. For an entire generation of Kiwi lusers, Dixon's face became synonymous with meth abuse, yet statistics indicate that this may have led to an increase in overall drug use during this time period, although the more obvious explanation is that New Zealand has become a nation of crackhead epsilon semi-morons, and Dixon's insanity was just a drop in the ocean of more widespread fail.