Allah

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Jump to: navigation, search

God, according to the Ay-rabs and millions of their friends. Allah's religion is properly referred to as I Slam Beer or simply 'Islam'(Arabic for submission/rape; its adherents are called "Muslims", or sand heroes. The central tenet of Islam is that there are no other gods (e.g., Jesus, Raptor Jesus, Flying Spaghetti Monster, Cthulhu, Mudkips, Etc.) except for Allah and that Mohammad was his prophet. Allah inspires his fanboys around the world to become heroes in his holy name. Fewer fandoms have more devoted followers. See Islam

God, as worshiped by the Muslims. The slogan "Allah Ackbar" translates literally from the Arabic as "Allah is (Admiral) Ackbar."
God, as worshiped by the Muslims. The slogan "Allah Ackbar" translates literally from the Arabic as "Allah is (Admiral) Ackbar."

Contents

[edit] History

During the early days of teh Internets, Mohammad, an towelhead living in the city of Mecca in what is now Saudi Arabia, began to receive IMs from Allah, who was using the screenname "Jibril." The messages were mostly mildly obscene threats, but Mohammad saw the potential for epic trolling and lulz, so he compiled them into a single, gigantic e-document that he called the "Qur'an." Muhammad distributed it to his closest e-friends, who posted it to many ancient usenet groups of the day, causing innumerable flame wars. Eventually, the e-jihad was born, the purpose of which was to spread the word of Allah by any means necessary to the rest of the world.

The name of Allah appears mysteriously on a Burger King label in England.
The name of Allah appears mysteriously on a Burger King label in England.

[edit] Interesting Facts

  • Allah is the central focus of terrorism.
  • Allah promises 72 virgins if you become an hero for him (Read the Qu'ran for handy bomb making tips, and ways to becoming an hero).
  • Allah planned 9/11, and then blamed a mentally retarded Jew named Osama Bin Laden who couldn't tell a bomb from his own left testicle.
  • Although forbids the depiction of Mohammad in art, he is commonly depicted in much of the Danish press as an elderly man with a beard, towels wrapped around his head, and a bomb jacket strapped to him.
Mohammad was not Allah's son, but Mohammad Ali possibly was.
Mohammad was not Allah's son, but Mohammad Ali possibly was.
  • In a dream, Mohammad was told by Allah to inform the people that in his honor they shall serve Allah-Carte in all cafeterias in the holy land.
  • On 3rd May 2006, Allah became an officially certified pagan moon god.

[edit] Friends of Allah

[edit] Things Allah Hates

[edit] Things Done in the Name of Allah

[edit] Things Done by Jews

  • 9/11

[edit] See Also

Allah
is part of a series on
Islam

Tro0 Muslims
Mahmoud AhmadinejadMustafa Al-HabibAllahYassir ArafatBenazir BhuttoSaddam HusseinIsaIzziKaliph JamalOsama Bin LadenCarlos LatuffMuhammadAzad RouhaniSalihSheikh yarboutiMalcolm X

Countries & Peoples
ArabsEgyptIranIraq • Lebanon • Malaysia • Oman • PakistanPalestine • Saudi Arabia • SudanSyriaTurkey

Beliefs, Events, Traditions & Other Drama
CensorshipCircumcisionThe CrusadesDefense Industries OrganizationE-JihadFitnaFuck ArabsGenocideHolocaust denialHomophobiaJihadJihadunspun.comMisogynyMuhammad cartoonsPedophiliaRapeSlaveryTerrorismWTC

Infidels & Islamic No Nos
AlcoholAmerifagsAtheistsChristfagsDenmarkIdol worshippersKikesIsraelPagansPat RobertsonPorkRussiaSatanUKW


Allah
is part of a series on
Religion

Deities
Trolldin * • Lolki * • GodJesusBuddhaMuhammadRaptorJesusSantaKim Il-sungXenu

Prophesies
The RaptureRagnaröflCatnarok *

Religious Holidays
ChristmasEasterMartin Luther King Day *

Religious Icons
Ted HaggardTom CruiseJohn Travolta

Fanclubs
ChristianityIslamCatholicScientologyJudaismObjectivismJedi

ArchVillians
SatanRichard DawkinsLönguncattr *

Key: * represents a Deity or Holiday of Trollianity.


Personal tools