BUY A SHIRT!
The ED TShirt Shop is open for business! Use discount code ED2009 for 10% off! Click here to shop. ED5 Pollfest is going on now! Register a forums accounts and help us find the best article in the five year history of Encyclopedia Dramatica. Check out the four polls running today: [1] [2] [3] [4]

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Hey!		This article isn't lulz just yet, but its coverage can spark a lollercoaster. You can help by reverting people who delete shit, and vandalizing their user pages. See this article on google? Want to add something? Join us!

Last Thursday, a Russian Livejournal user by the name trackeri posted some juicy dox(deleted) on a Ukrainian student named Alisa Kuzmenko, who had the best hobby ever - finding dead dogs and skinning them in her kitchen for the lulz, and, of course, taking pics for posterity. There was also a couple of videos made, but they're gone now.

Needless to say, over 9000 angry Russians put their vodka and bear fucking aside to troll Alisa and to show their heartfelt love for dead dogs everywhere. Her info was almost as lulzworthy as the pics themselves:

Name: Alisa Kuzmenko
"I'm on the second year of the international relations college in Kiev, studying international business".
Main online nickname: lir_fon_tamiir
DOB: 1990-08-20
City: Kiev, Ukraine
Telephone: +380 xxx-xx-xx
About me: I'm Alice! And that's all I can say!
Interests: Kafka, black metal, darkwave, Irish dance, piercing, turtles. (moar liek piercing turtles, />amirite?)

Her partner in crime's dox were also published by trackeri:

Name: Anna Donchuk
18 years old
Studying veterinary science in the Agricultural College of Ukraine

The Cumdumpsters Speakout

The girls made a statement after the comments started pouring in:

"I don't deny that it is us on the photos. Here goes... She started the second year of her university. All students had to prepare a dead bone and bring it to class. Many bought a prepared cow bone in a store, but Anya has principles, she wanted to find something... We were hoping to get a dead rotten rat at the most, but got lucky - we found a dog (still living) that's just been hit by a car. Well, we picked it up, worked on it and got a fucking awesome skeleton. As for the funny photos - there is exactly the same amount of them as technical photos! And after all, why not laugh, the animal is dead, it doesn't care. Did I answer all of your questions?"

Actually, no, can I stick it in your pooper?

The Man's Reaction

The ukranian police did make a statement:

"We cannot open a case, because the dog was already dead - says assistant director to Kiyev's metropolitan police, Vladimir Dmitrenko. - However, there is still the crime of cruelty to animals to consider. However, we don't have any material evidence to conclusively persecute them for what they did."

After watching through the video several times, a local newspaper published an article on the matter, citing that the Agricultural College did not give the girls any assignments, and that they indeed did it for the lulz. They also say that the video shows them sticking candles into the dog's eviscerated carcass and blowing them out, like on a birthday cake. Good times were had by all.

The videos

Both girls appeared on a Russian program defending their actions and showing clips of the birthday cake dog. Caution, massive amounts of moonspeak ahead.

Video available on RuTube

Gallery of WHAT THE FUCK

You can't unsee this, seriously.

Alisa <3 dogz sexy this is ok in Korea

OH HAI 2 U dat dog needs a medic! LOL I'M DED OH HEY NAW WASSUP DOG Stupid rat, stop being dead! This is delicious dog heart, I must eat it. flier 1 flier 2

External Links

• News article on Alisa (translated)
• Her eljay (baleeted)
• Her matchmaking site profile (closed)
• Her favorite irish dance community (cause a girl has to have hobbies, right?)
• Video of the butchering (baleeted)

Alisa Kuzmenko is part of a series on Bad things to happen to animals	Basic Concepts Furry • Bestiality • Taxidermy • Animal Abuse
	Opposing Concepts and Causes Animal rights • Vegetarian • Animal Liberation Front • Carlos Sousa Jr • Camille Marino • Dave Warwak • Death Cat • Steve Irwin • PETA
	BestiLOLity in Action Poeticirony • Crusadercat • Darkhorseman • Dracoguard • Esachasa • Mr. Hands • WolfJLupus • Chibiabos • Charles-wolfman • ShadoWolffess • Snover • Skylos • Marry Your Pet • Neuticles.com • Dalhusky • Cory Williamson • Abbie Hawkins
	Why We Don't Have Nice Things Alcohol • Alisa Kuzmenko • Michael Vick, a.k.a. Ron Mexico • Camrose Cat Killers • Chevy the Therapy Dog • Cheyenne Cherry • City glitter • LinktheWolf • Staredog • Tinkebell • Wang Jeu • Zeriara • Zippocat • NEDM • David Motari • "Mudkips" the cat • Bonsai Kitten • Japanese Bug Fights • Heaven • Kenny Glenn • Travis the Killer Chimp • Tyler Weinman • Marvin Morvan and Alex Teniola