Alabama
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Alabama is a state full of Mexicans and faggots, and faggoty Mexicans. This is especially true if you live in Montgomery, the chicken mecca of the South. Sometimes it's mistaken for the 7th layer of Hell and Satan's asshole. Its predominant exports are incest, abortions, moonshine, violent religious fanboys and illiteracy. Much like Georgia, another southern state, the excessive in-breeding has led to rampant stupidity, the popularity of NASCAR, and ugly-ass bucktoothed bitches.
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[edit] History
Alabama was found by a bunch of retarded French faggots who were trying to find Atlantis. However due to their extreme fucktardedness they crashed their ship right onto the shore. Naturally being the intelligent and quick thinking gentlemen they were they proceeded to make Alabama into the dumping grounds for France's prisoners, niggers, retards and other such wastes of sperm (interesting to note that future Alabamans would dump their failures into Mississippi). From that point, the massive pile of fail created a faggitational pull of failure. As more retards collected, the fail would get stronger. This would eventually be negated by the creation of Boulder, Colorado but the damage was done in that enough sister fuckers gathered to kill off most of the other retards in the state. This is how the piece of shit state we call Alabama came to be the inbred shithole that is ignored today.
[edit] Government
The governor of Alabama is Bob Riley, a Racist, Republican, psycho that won the office by sucking the biggest dick. He's the bastard son of George Bush and Mike Huckabee and grew up by whipping the local negroes that worked on the family farm. Surprisingly he isn't total ass as a governor he focused on education, industry and taxes. Oh wait he didn't do that. That was some retard who worked for him. HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS. Recently his popularity has decreased due to people going Jew about taxes.
[edit] Reasons Why Alabama Sucks
It's home to cities named after famous local hillbillies like Burntcorn and Slapout, and even the upscale area of Possum Trot
Alabamian cuisine is particularly noted as being the only food where that you can get AIDS just from eating it. Alabamians boast of their fine culture with a slogan on each license plate: "Cud bee wurs. Cud bee Misispi." (Trivia: Actually, most of the license plates have "Stars Fell On Alabama", but nobody has a clue what it means, not even Alabamians...)
There is exactly one paved road in Alabama, but it belongs to a fucking Yankee that nobody likes cause he uses "dem big words". He was ass raped by Bubba Joe last Thursday, but that doesn't make him a faggot, he "wuz just showin' him who boss."
[edit] Economy
Alabama's exports (much like all southern states) include: incest, bacon fat, cp, bestiality, country music, high-quality space-grade rockets and computer equipment, and the Dukes of Hazard. No, wait that last one's from Georgia.
[edit] Language
Residents from Alabama speak a language loosely based on about 100 almost recognizable English language words and large number of grunts, groans, and hisses which more resemble the off-gassing of industrial equipment than what a linguist would recognize as language.
Typical conversation from two near-simian humanoids in Alabama:
Inbred #1: WHAR YEW FREM BOWAH?
Inbred #2: FIME FREM HALLAH BAMMAH BOWAH!
Inbred #1: (...) UH ... WHAR YEW SAIT YEW FREM BOWAH?
Inbred #2: BOWAH HAIZE FREM HALLAH BAMMAH BOWAH!
Inbred #1: HAH SAIT WHAR DAH HEYAL YEW BE FREM BOWAH!
Inbred #2: HAH SAIT HAIZE FREM HEW HEW HEW HEW HEW! HUH HUH HUH HEW! HUH HUH HUH HEW! HUH HUH HUH HEW!
Inbred #1: WHULL WHAH DAH FUHK HAINT YEW SAIT SO BOWAH!
[edit] All in all
All in all Alabama is a backwards, shitty pile of fail that almost makes Africa look good. The people are retarded, the transportation system (LOL WUT?) sucks, and the culture is enough to make a NORP kill themselves. Oh, and let's not forget that everyone's completely batshit insane. This is the state where they don't call 911 and if their gun is jammed they will just beat you to death with it. Don't mess with Alabama. Inbred mofos are dangerous, y'all come back now y'hear? But you better bring some guns.
[edit] Oh Please GOD!
It's all fucking true. All of it. Please get me out of here. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HELP ME!!!! -Fond Regards, St.Jimmy
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