Adult Swim
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Adult Swim is a block of programming on Cartoon Network to show uncut anime, but instead is used to showcase their shitty sitcom ideas while high on skunky weed. It's also a dumping ground for failed network shows, guys who are members of the "Bob Odenkirk Cocksucking Circle", and failed indie comic writers. Some time later, it was decided that Saturdays would be devoted to anime, adding 14 year old girls to the Target Demographic. The lineups have since blended and Adult Swim continues to pollute the airwaves on TV. Given the painfully low budget of their shows, and their overt support of terrorism, it's safe to assume that Adult Swim is run by self-loathing Japanese people of Jewish origin. Adult Swim is especially hated by weeaboos who still feed from their moms' tits and shit in diapers because they're too busy BAWWWing over the lack of Inuyasha in the current schedule and writing slashfic to bother having a social life.
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Bumps
One of their trademarks is that in between shows, there is white text on a black background in which the gays at Cartoon Network get to showcase their utter contempt for their viewers, in a "I'm better than you! You suck the shit out of my asshole 'cause I rule and you drool!" hackery. Sadly, it's obvious that they put more time into writing these bumps than any of their shows.
Merchandise
Historically, Adult Swim has tried and failed to sell their merchandise. They failed so hard that it's traditional to view any attempt by them to sell their stuff with laughter due to the way that they inevitably let politics ruin the product. Most notably was when they tried to launch a line of action figures; instead of figures people wanted, we received complete shit in it's place because the creators wanted toys of characters THEY wanted, not figures that paying customers wanted, resulting in a wave of Phil Ken Sebben, a Bear, Master Shake, and MC Pee Pants figures no one bought, killing the entire toy line as a result.
The network instead has had most of its luck with hats and clothing based on Aqua Teen Hunger Force. The people who consciously purchase this garbage are mainly post-gothic community college fags who eat at IHOP at 2:00 AM daily, speaking and LOLing at at least 100 decibels, perhaps under the impression that they are societal elites or even that someone enjoys or respects their unique™ and edgy humor.
Incarnations
Adult Swim has gone down more times than a 12 year old Taiwanese hooker. Constantly jumping the shark, it suffered most notably in the past when it lost the rights to Futurama and self-inflicted a gunshot wound to it's face by killing off 99% of its anime line-up. Only the new season of Venture Brothers has saved the network this year, as well as the kickback money Brendon Small is forced to pay Mike Lazzo out of his fortune via the Dethklok/Metalocalypse cash cow, as payment for Lazzo saving Small's career and sparing him from having to go back to his former job as an underpaid gay for pay bottom in porn movies.
No Moar Anime
Sometime in the middle of March, Adult Swim announced that they were finally pulling their "almost final solution" to the anime problem by removing all anime from their weekday lineup, sparing only Inuyasha because they knew even die-hard anime nerds hate Inuyasha. Butthurt weeaboos bitched and moaned about how this was unfair, and a complete violation of their weekly scheduled masturbation times, in-between downloading more shows illegally from glorious Nippon and continue hurting the business they claim to support. Adult Swim later pulled their real "final solution" and relegated anime to 5 in the morning, safe from human eyes.
Adult Swim whined back that ratings was why they took anime off the network, saying it never pulled in the ratings. This makes sense, as Americans got sick and tired of slope shows on their television devices years ago and now every anime company in the U.S. is bleeding cash or shutting down. When butthurt fantards complained back that Adult Swim never, EVER promoted or advertised anime, Mike Lazzo basically replied saying it wasn't worth it, and Adult Swim would rather concentrate on plug-whoring their own shitty shows so they can keep all the money, just like the other media companies.
Adult Swim is now a low-rated channel, thanks to butthurt weeaboos everywhere, and with lots of Family Guy, Robot Chicken, Delocated and Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job. Butthurt fantards know the truth of the matter, correctly claiming the block is worse off now and that anime is "Adult Swim's only saving grace". They're not watching Tyler Perry's House of Shit.
To spite Adult Swim, many anime fantards have moved to support Sci-Fi Channel's "Ani-Monday," a Monday night block featuring shitty anime no one wants to watch. Except Gurren Lagann, of course. Manga Entertainment actually has to pay the Sci-Fi Channel to run them. This block disappeared, as we all expected it would.
Adult Swim Shows That Suck Major Ass
- Family Guy - Has never been funny on any network.
- Robot Chicken kills OVER 9000 pieces of plastic crap each episode. Still not enough to make up for the fail.
- Tom Goes To The Mayor - made by Tim and Eric so it automatically FAILS.
- Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job - Makes absolutly no fucking sense. All the shit just isn't funny.
- Death Note - anime if for faggots.
- Inuyasha (unless you're a furry)
- The Brak Show - Actually very funny at times, but overlooked.
- The Big O(ring)
- Space Ghost, Coast to Coast - still funnier then conan o'brian
- Eureka Seven
- Frisky Dingo - Seinfeld + Flash animation = FAIL
- Assy McGee - Fucking shit, terrible 90s jazz intro, alcoholic talking ass with a gun. how can you watch?
- Home Movies - Looks like it was drawn by a five-year-old with a learning disability. There is nothing even remotely funny about this show.
- Bleach
- Saul of the Mole Men
- Stroker and Hoop
- Lucy: Daughter of the Devil - Seinfeld + Computer animation = FAIL
- The Mighty Boosh - Dry britfag humour. Almost as bad as the british office.
- Garth Marenghi's Darkplace - modern day rendition of bad 70s dramas. worth checking out.
- Moral Orel
- Delocated
- Harvey Birdman
- The Drinky Crow Show
- The Venture Brothers - only basement dwelling neckbeard virgins like this show.
Adult Swim shows that don't completely suck
- Aqua Teen Hunger Force - It was hilarious back in the day, but now it just kinda sucks.
- Superjail - It's like your average violent AS Show, but with actual lulz and david wain as the warden.
- Sealab 2021 - Harry Goz is god.
- Metalocalypse - I DO COCAINE!!!
- Squidbillies - Some hick's Oxycontin nightmare rendered in glorious MS Paint. One of the most original and lulzy shows ever made.
- Boondocks - This show is like dividing by zero. It has animu AND niggers, but still manages to produce lulz. Need explanation, plox.
- King of the Hill - Rednecks with narrow urethras talking about propane. No explanation needed.
- Titan Maximum - It has a fucking giant robot. What more do you need?
- Xavier: Renegade Angel - always fucks everything up for everyone. like a fucking acid trip.
Kitties
Now at Adultswim.com they have a section on cats with hats on. The first one is photoshopped while others are just abused fat cats. The reason why they created this section is unknown. Most likely because they're retarded furfags.
Also See
- ATHF Terrorist Attack
- Aqua Teen Hunger Force Not bad
- Family Guy Shit that is over quoted by people who can't make their own jokes
- King of The Hill Hillarious
- Futurama It's going to stay on Comedy Central for over 9000 years because Adult Swim is too cheap to pay for good shows
- MC Chris
- TV
