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From Encyclopedia Dramatica

A President is anyone who is in charge of lots of shit. You can usually tell if you're a president or not based on how many people kiss your ass and how many guns you have. Many countries, such as El Salvador and Texas, use the presidential system instead of having a queen or a dictator.

Contents 1 The Election Process 2 Presidential Powers 3 Examples of Presidents 4 Examples of things that are not Presidents 5 Examples of things that want to be President of the U.S.A.

The Election Process

In a democracy or a republic, the President is chosen by the people (except in Israel and the United States, where the President is chosen by Jews). A specific day is picked and everyone skips out on work to go vote, thus fulfilling their civic duty. Later on that week the election is contested by the loser and then the opponents engage in a fight to the death.

The survivor of the duel then calls his old college/drinking buddies up and invites them to help him run the country into the ground.

Presidential Powers

When you're a president, you're allowed to do whatever you want. This includes blowing shit up, kicking puppies, eating gourmet meals, and forcing your will upon the world. Some presidents have chosen to do this on their own, but others have claimed to do it in the name of God.

Examples of Presidents

• Ronald E. Paul Albert A. Gore is president king of the Internets.

• Girlvinyl is President Queen of æ.

• Hepkitten is president of LiveJournal.

• Jesse L. Jackson is president emperor of black people.

• Adolf Hitler is Reichspräsident and Führer of Germany.

• Mikhail N. Saakashvili is president of Georgia.

• Saddam Hussein was president of Iraq.

• Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is president of Iran.

• Vladimir V. Putin is president prime minister of Russia.

• Harrison Ford is president of the United States and wants you to get off his plane.

• George Washington is president of the United States.

• Richard M. Nixon is known as having a lot of impersonators do it wrong, especially Futurama.

• Warren G. Harding was the first negro president of the United States and is currently president of Wikipedia vandalism.

• John F. Kennedy is president of mythology, conspiracy and cheating on ur wife.

• Lyndon B. Johnson

• Ronald W. Reagan was president of senility.

• William J. Clinton was president of hookers and blow.

• George W. Bush was the president of being himself.

• Barack H. Obama

• Hugo R. Chávez is president of Venezuela and an IRL troll.

Examples of things that are not Presidents

• Benazir Bhutto

• Bob Dole

• Al Gore

• John Kerry

• John McCain

• Ewan McGregor's Penis

Examples of things that want to be President of the U.S.A.

• John McCain
• Cynthia McKinney
• Ralph Nader
• Sarah Palin
• Hillary Clinton
• Howard Dean
• John Edwards
• Rudy Ghouliani
• Mike Gravel
• Mike Huckabee
• Jesse Jackson
• Dennis Kucinich
• Lyndon Larouche
• Joe Lieberman
• Ron Paul
• Mitt Romney
• Al Sharpton
• Freddie Thompson
• Arnold Schwarzenegger not eligible, yet