Aboriginal
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| This article was seen by Google crybabies and now has a PageRank of 0 out of 10. |
| Offended? Possibly, you are offended by the content of this page. If so, please click here, and scroll to the bottom. |
Aboriginals are the niggers of Australia. They are the most primitive animals on the planet.
They are typically called coons, boongs, abos or black cunts by every Australian. The proper name for a young aboriginal is Lake Angel.
History of Aboriginals
Australian Aborigines are another example of one of God's mistakes.
One of many possible theories is that 50,000 years ago, some Chinks, led by King Mabo migrated across to Australia and formed a race. These people lived off the land, engaged in inter-tribal war and lived in large families. Not much has changed.
At least 100 years ago, English discoverers colonized Australia with the aim of turning into the world's most hostile and desolate prison and forced labor camp. Encountering pale-skinned people for the first time, the Aboriginals (in their poorly charred form) welcomed the newcomers to the beaches. The English greeted them with muskets, bayonets, smallpox and alcohol.
After the misunderstanding of killing most of the Aborigines was cleared up, the British achieved a mutually agreeable compromise of getting the remaining Aborigines drunk, moving them all into tiny, remote communities, and stealing their children to be raised in good households.
Later, Aborigines were slaughtered by the thousands to provide specimens of 'missing links' for museums in Europe and America. The Australian National Museum once classified aborigines as 'Australian animals' and gave instructions on plugging up the bullet holes once the specimen had been shot for science. It has often been postulated by eminent scholars that the usual evolutionary processes ceased to function amongst the indigenous Australians. This is the only possible explanation for the complete absence of Aboriginal culture, cities and any sort of civilized society.
One little known fact is that Aboriginals were the first to pump oil from the ground and develop what eventually became the modern processes of fractional distillation and catalytic cracking. This discovery was really born out of necessity. The Aborigines wiped out the Dodo birds towards the end of the 18th Century. The Dodo was highly prized by the Abo's as it possessed a small gland at the base of its wings which secreted a volatile oil. The Abo's collected this oil, heated it and inhaled the vapours and became intoxicated. This state of intoxication, stupor and general incoherence is known as "Dreamtime." After the Dodo was extincted the Abo's needed another volatile substance so that they could continue their Dreamtime and so invented PETROL. For more details see the section below on PETROL.
What Aboriginals Sound Like
Aboriginal rapping about a typical night out on the town. Literally on the town as they are mostly dole financed.
Abo technological "advancements"
The Australian indigenous people are believed to have populated the country for over 50 thousand years, making them one of the oldest "civilizations" on Earth, pre-dating ancient Greeks, Mayans and Egyptians. So in all this time on Earth before everyone else, you would have expected them to be some kind of super-advanced, super-intelligent race. Below is a complete list of 50,000 years of all Aboriginal accomplishments and contributions to humanity:
- A long stick. (spear)
- A curved stick. (boomerang)
- A hollow stick. (digeridoo)
- The universal car-key (dipstick from an XF Ford Falcon)
- A vibrator (an empty VB stubby with a few blowflies in)
Comparison
As a comparison, here are some interesting facts, comparing Abos to Chinks.
- Around 50BC – AD12 China invents papar
- In 9 BC, China invented gunpowder
- In 5 BC, the Chinese invent the kite
- In 4 AD, Chinese scientists make a fully working compass, and
- In 1788 AD, when the British came to Australia, after 50,000 years of life, the damn Abos still hadn't invented the fucking wheel, and yet they want us to respect their culture and way of life.
Nunga Nunga Says sorry to the whites of Australia.?? Or is this just Bullshit too?
Ice Skating Faggotry Leads to Indigenous Indignance
In January 2010 The International Skating Union recently decided the dancers should use folk themes for their original dance in that years 2010 Olympic season.
Aboriginals were left crying into their box wine when after seeing Russians Oksana Domnina and Maxim Shabalin, the reigning world champions, enact a dance with allegedly Australian aboriginal music and to perform it wearing blackface, tribal paint and costumes with clumps of fake gum leaves.
Sol Bellear, of the New South Wales state Aboriginal Land Council, told an Australian newspaper: "It dem Europeens some bad muddas, stealin our KULCHA! We oughting knock dey're whitefellar blocks off!"
Cleaning up Australia
Aboriginals have been filling up Australia and clogging its welfare system, so do your part.
Theres tha noonga A reel grate boonga Spenden all day Da Centalink Way Fuckin his daughtuh Commitin manslaugtah In hiz car But he dun go fah c Cause dubbo ain big Bud dey sell a grate cig I love dat twelve year old moot I love dat twelve year old moot Wen its da colur of soot Cotton farmuh? Dat’s obamuh! Cus I ain no nigga I just enjo my cigga’s Smoken dem cones Steelin da mobyl phones Love mah neeces poon Jus lyk I luv da goon Methalated spirts? Fuck yeah, got no limits Petrol is grate Just ask Ernie Dingo, hes my mate Fuck yeah noongas fa life Forever fuckin daughters, not our wifes ''-Anon''
Abo Hobbies
Hobbies of the Abo's tend to include:
Drinking petrol out of jerry cans
- teaching the younger tribal member the almost forgotten art of Koori Kannibalizm. That is if they don't eat em first.
- raping their young
- Drinking grog to contact the spirits.
- waiting for the fortnightly dole payment to go buy more drugs and booze
- inhaling any material which contains hydrocarbon molecules so they can partake in a bit of "Dreamtime"
- when the elder tribal members cannot see any longer/cannot run fast/cannot see where they are running, they are instructed to stand in a cut-down 44 gallon drum with an apple jammed in their mouth. Water is then added if the elder does not piss themselves first. A li'l bush tucker (floor sweepings from the camp) is shoveled in and Granny Coon is left to simmer gently for 18 hours. The younger abo children have the task of regularly basting Granny in her own juices. Quite often one or more of the children "accidentally" fall in and are cooked as well. Much sniffing of petrol takes place to welcome other departed (read: eaten) tribal elders. Abo-stew is now served in many of Gordon Ramsay's restaurants usually garnished with a fly-blown jewish foetus.
- teaching their children how to also be the unwiped arseholes of society like the parents
- drinking beer with the bottle still in the paper bag while sitting in highway median strips
- complaining about how white people stole their land 200 years ago, like they were going to do anything else but
search for "bush tucker" (aboriginal food)rape their children on it.
- Celebrating Sorry Day, A time when all White Australians are legally obligated to apologize to the Aboriginals for something they never did.
- Celebrating occupying their new Government provided house by knocking out the door + window frames for a bit of firewood
- [Children only] Being confused on father's day
- Sniffing bug spray on Queensland Rail on their way to Beenleigh Centerlink.
- They also engaged in cannibalism as late as the 1970's
- Inhaling vast amounts of concentrated Chrome paint.
- Stealing
- Drinking chilled methylated spirits. This renders anyone with normal physiology blind. Abo's tend to metabolise methanol in a unique way.
When an Aboriginal child is born, the Mother will hold it over an open fire so the smoke can "cleanse it from evils." MOAR LIKE GIVE IT LUNG CANCER, BRAIN DAMAGE, ASTHMA AND THE BEETIS! When Abo women give birth they have to be separated from the newborn as they often eat their young. Crocodiles have been also been known to eat infant abo's though they will almost always cough them up again as they have that nasty petroleum aftertaste. The fact they are in a few pieces negates the positive aspect of this regurgitative process.
Aboriginal Quotes
- "Put DAT MONEY in mah hand NOW!"- abo riding teh bus.
- "Wombat tastes like shit!" - drunk abo.
- "Goanna is my favourite" - masterchef abo.
- "Gib'id dat der" - abo talking about sex, or fighting (both are the same concepts in abo culture)
- "Godda gedda woobla" - abo going shopping for food
- "Pass the flaggon brudder" - abo asking his brother to pass the bottle of cooking sherry or if it welfare pay-day some chilled methylated spirits.
- "Nod gilldy yaronna" - an abo addressing a white person.
- "My niece tuppy-ol tight as" - a proud family member talking of his young niece
Aboriginal Culture
The only two musical instruments used in Aboriginal music are sticks and the didgeridoo. Whereas civilized societies produced instruments of made of metals and complicated tubing, the Abos produced the Log, v.2. This large bong-like contraption emits a low groaning sound, much akin to what bagpipes would sound like on methadone. They also have heaps of stories of encounters with kangaroos (they were either drunk or sniffing a high amount of petrol at the time) that they say were like the size of a tree and encountered the great hairy man or the yowie. The didgeridoo was originally invented to mask the sound of their young screaming as the tribal elders ritually raped them and circumcised them with hot stones.
An aboriginal rave is called a corroboree, which usually involves a circle of elders sitting around a burning pyre of state-provided bedding and furniture, while younger Aboriginals paint themselves in automotive paint and huff gasoline fumes before dancing in a crazed fashion typically associated with Downs Syndrome or Cerebral Palsy.
Abo Youth
While Abo's are famous for their blowing of Digeredoos, a big part of Aboriginal youth culture is acting like a gangster. Even though they live in Australia, young Abo's try to replicate the culture of young African Americans, often engaging in singing rap music, drinking, gangbanging,glue sniffing, chroming, drinking, rape, petrol sniffing, drinking, incest and other forms of Niggerdom. They also very often partake in binge drinking, sometimes having up to three times the fatal limit of alcohol. While this amount would normally be assumed to be enough to kill 3 people, Abo's have a special ability to constantly be hammered, but never die.
Abo Youth behaviour can be observed in the following videos.
|
Previous Video | Next Video |
Aboriginal News
Child Rape
In July 2007, The Australian Government sent federal police and the Army into Aboriginal communities to seize control after a recent report came to the shocking and unexpected conclusion that Aboriginals were getting drunk and raping their young.
The communities, mostly focused around the Northern Territory (see: Middle of Fucking Nowhere) are torn between receiving free health and infrastructure, and having their precious beer, drugs and loli taken away from them.
The report was titled "Little Children Are Sacred", which is widely believed to be a typographical error, the correct title being "Little Children Are Scared.". Which, let's face it, you would be too if a fat beardy negroid man with spraypaint on his breath was lying on top of you like some sort of hairy, stinking leviathan.
A news report on child sexual abuse and the abuse of petrol in Aboriginal Communities.
The Aboriginal Flag
The Aboriginal flag is composed of horizontal black on red bars, with a yellow circle in the center. It shows their proud German heritage.
Colours
- The black represents the niggerness of the Abos skin.
- The red reprsents the blood spilled when the White people came and fixed Australia.
- The yellow blob in the middle is the big puddle of piss left by all white Australians, who love nothing more than to piss on this piece of shit flag.
New Design
Proposed new design for Abo Flag. This new rendition features a symbol of greater importance than the sun to Abos, Centrelink is where all Abos get their booze money. Rather than getting jobs and working for money like normal people, they expect to receive unlimited Government handouts from the the same Government which they claim to despise. Along with their traditional spirit beliefs such as The Rainbow Serpent, Abos have recently crowned Centrelink as a God, worshiping it for its generous nature and for providing Abos with some sort of income. The only difference between other religious beliefs and Centrelink is that Centrelink actually exists.
Aborigines and Commerce
Aboriginals represent approximately 80% of the total sales shoplifting of Winfield Blue cigarettes in Australia. The other 20% are from residents of Werribee.
The 2005 Australian Census gave an overall unemployment rate for proper Australian citizens of 2.7%, an improvement since the 2001 census' report of 102.7%. The Australian Beareau of Statistics also gathered data on Abos just to make them feel special, in this case the rate of employment was a mere xx3q%, with the majority of Abos living off welfare.
Petrol
Aboriginals love sniffing petrol. This is done by simply sniffing it directly from the can or someones fuel tank. A common occurrence in Australian life is waking up to find a dead petrol sniffer right next to your car. This is usually exclaimed by the Australian yelling "Crikey, there's a dead petrol sniffer!" No one knows why Abos sniff petrol, some speculate that they believe it holds some spiritual significance, other beliefs include they use it just to get high.
Most Abo's engage in what has become somewhat of a tradtion once a fortnight (more often if the welfare money is not blown on other staples such as methylated spirits, drugs or fags). After cashing their cheque they treat themselvers to some premium unleaded, high-octane petrol. "Vortex" is a favorite. It makes a change from the 95 octane standard unleaded. The Australian government in another piece of groundbreaking piece of harm-minimization have phased out leaded petrol which contained tetra-ethyl lead. Scientific studies have indicated that this anti-knocking petrol additive can cause cognitive disturbances.
Interestingly when the newer unleaded petrol was introduced a large number of Abo's complained to major petrol refineries that it was somehow lacking in it's hydrocarbon CNS kick. Researchers subsequently discovered in double blind studies that the tetra-ethyl lead was having a synergistic effect with the hydrocarbons. Not wanting to totally disenfranchise their indigenous brethren, the Government has now augmented their needle-exchange program with the tetra-ethyl lead bottle exchange program. 7 out of 10 Abo's now cannot tell the difference between new unleaded with the additive and the old unleaded. The remaining 3 Abo's are too off-their-face to really care.
Metho aka Methylated Spirits aka The Good Stuff
Whitey has his "preferred" alcoholic beverage. Depending on the socio-economic strata this may include a good single-malt whiskey, a fine cognac, bourbon, beer or genuine absinthe (a little hard to source in these enlightened times)...the examples are limitless. Personally I fancy Grand Marnier on ice. Coopers Sparkling Ale when in beer mode. The Cooneridgines are not renowned for their fussiness when it comes to grog. Any old shit will do. I would wager that if shit could be brewed/distilled they would give that a go. Indeed the drink does not even have to contain ethyl alcohol or ethanol. So long as it has the ability to render the drinker/sniffer/injector shit-faced that particular substance will do. As is well documented Petrol is a favorite inebriant. Petrol doesn't even contain ethanol but that don't stop the black-fella from inhaling the fumes so as to forget the problems of the world.
Now what follows is the absolute truth. I use that phrase in referring to a story which aired under the banner of Channel 9's A Current Affair a few years ago. So in that context it could actually be anything BUT the truth.
The film crew was doing a story from either Tennant Creek or Katherine in the Northern Territory (NT), which have a high proportion of Abo's in their population. Anywayz the reporter was haranguing the proprietor of one of the local hardware stores. What do you suppose this villain's crime was? He was plastered across national prime-time TV as the lowly scum who refrigerated his 1 litre bottles of Methylated Spirits. Why was he doing this, asked reporter. Because the Abo's much preferred their metho chilled. He was, he put forward doing nothing but performing a public service. He did not place any sort of surcharge on the chilled Metho. The fridges do not run off the goodwill of the buying public...he has to pay for it. Additionally he did not sell smaller bottles of Metho chilled as these would be attractive to the younger Coon's. It was a win-win scenario for all concerned. The shop owner was doing a roaring trade and the Abo's were getting their Metho chilled so it went down smoothly in the scorching heat. These arguments didn't really cut it with the oh-so-righteous reporter (who most likely retired to his motel room to partake a few lines of Columbian Marching Powder while getting head from his camerawoman). Now here is the kicker. The cherry on the icing.
The story finished with reporter stating that the hardware store was temporarily unable to continue selling the chilled Metho as they did not have the required council permit(s)!
...a fly on the wall of the local council chambers may have heard the following. "G'day mate. Howsyagoin? Just need one of those supplying-chilled-methanol-based-products-to-indiginous-Austalians permits mate. Is that the on-tap permit mate? Nah, I wish. Just the individual bottle permit. No worries mate, that'll be $10.00. Or with the new renewable-energy rebate you don't have to pay anything. Really? Tell me more. Well just get a coon, strap him on a push-bike connected to a generator which will provide the power for the metho refrigerator. When that coon drops from exhaustion just grab another....and that's your renewable energy angle.
Where do you think Northern Territory gets the bulk of it's electricity from. No nuclear plants. No coal or gas fired plants. Solar? Wind? Yeah right. Where are they? A Current Affair ought to do a story on that.
Dodo
The Aborigines wiped out the Dodo birds towards the end of the 18th Century. The Dodo was highly prized by the Abo's as it possessed a small gland at the base of its wings which secreted a volatile oil. The Abo's collected this oil, heated it and inhaled the vapours and became intoxicated. This state of intoxication, stupor and general incoherence is known as "Dreamtime." After the Dodo was extincted the Abo's needed another volatile substance so that they could continue their Dreamtime and so invented PETROL.
Government Petrol Initiative
Late in October 2008, the Australian Government began to respond to the serious issue of Abo's sniffing petrol. One method they will shortly employ is the production of fumeless petrol. This new petrol is impossible to get high off by smelling it and has the aim of stopping petrol sniffing in Aboriginal communities. However, the more likely result is that instead of giving up the petrol altogether, they will stop sniffing it, and start drinking it.
Petrol Sniffing in Old Media
- http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/10/31/2406869.htm
- http://www.radioaustralia.net.au/news/stories/200810/s2402161.htm?tab=australia
- http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/7679278.stm - Oh Shit!, It's on the rise
They were so happy, and we RUINED it!
Every single Australian child has had the miracle of the dreamtime rammed down their throat at school from an early age. Apparently abos were happy squatting naked in their own filth for thousands of years. So why then does the modern aboriginal complain about his difficult and unfulfilling life of squatting naked in his own filth, in a government provided house, and a government provided can of VB?
Here we come to grips with the very essence of modern aboriginal culture.
A stray dog does not expect you to feed it, but if you do, it comes to expect it and will complain if you don’t.
Seriously, that’s all there is. Aboriginals immediately spend their tax-payer funded dole money on cheap booze, cheap smokes and Cray supercomputers within one hour of having been issued with their fortnightly allotment. Woe betide them! They’ve now spent all their free white devil money on white devil comestibles! How will they now feed their millions of fly-blown, illiterate children?
How indeed? So more money is issued, which is immediately spent on booze, woe betide, how indeed, more money, etc.
There comes a time where keeping a human ant farm stops being fun, that time is when it starts costing hundreds of millions of dollars, and at the end of the day, the only change is the ring of VB stubbies around the naked man crouching in his own filth.
The Stolen Generation
Due to fact that Abo's are hopeless cannibal drunk petrol-sniffing sub-humanoids during the first half of the 19th Century the Australian government decided to enslave as many abo's as was possible. This program was a great success for the white fellas and of course the abo's. It was discovered that the abo's could be partly domesticated though all attempts to breed their fondness for cannibalism and petrol out failed miserably. They were found to make excellent though somewhat dim-witted pets. Even today one can still observe Abo's tied with a length of chain to the clothes-line in many Australian back yards. These domesticated Abo's should always be approached with wariness and NEVER be fed from the hand. Most importantly PETROL fumes will certainly cause these creatures to revert to their wild, "Dreamtime" state. If found in a back-yard do no more than poke with a stick. Towards the end of last century the Australian government realised what a monumental mistake they had made. The Abo PETROL and CANNIBALISM genes proved to be much more resilient than previously thought. No amount of cross-breeding with kangaroos and wombats would ever remove these traits. So the Government embarked on a wildly ambitious plan. Householders all over Australia were instructed to say sorry to their Abo pets and slaves. They were then told to turn them loose. Since they have a natural homing instinct all the released Abo's headed for Ayers Rock. The Government had left 50,000 litres of premium unleaded petrol in underground bunkers around the rock. The Abo's arrived, congregated and subsequently sniffed out the gas. They were all soon totally off their heads, engaging in a cororobies, cannibalism, drinking, and "Dreaming". Government snipers then took out the fucked Abo's one by one. It was the largest peacetime culling of Abo's in recorded history. The plan was thought to have worked. There were no reported incidents of PETROL sniffing or cannibalism by Abo's for 10 to 15 years. But then little by little it began again. It was surmised that a few breeding pairs must have escaped or survived the Ayers Rock cull. Now all the undesirable traits have re-established themselves in the Abo population probably stronger than before. The Government is now looking at a way of gathering them all together in one place and having the world's biggest barbecue using a small thermonuclear device.
Lose a thong, mate?
"Nah, I found one"
Due to an aboriginal's aforementioned pathological inability to spend money in a productive, life-enriching manner, they have become notorious scroungers. It's certainly not uncommon to encounter a specimen in the wild wearing no, odd, or only one item of footwear. Further clothing is even more haphazard.
Government provided housing, in the two to three years before it collapses from neglect, tends to accumulate an unexplainable amount of urine-soaked mattresses and cushions. These are of course not for the children, who must sleep on the floor, but for the dozens of disease-ridden feral dogs abos tend to collect. Note of course that aboriginals are unable to feed themselves, let alone a fucking dog pound.
Don't consider this an affront to their intellect however. To suggest such a lifestyle is moronic would be racist. And only white people are racist.
"shut ya 'ole, ya krinkerie kehly!" (white dog)
Abo Facts
Why are Abos called boongs?
They're called Boongs because that's the sound they make when they get hit by a semi-trailer.
What do you call an Abo in a suit?
The defendant.
What do you call an Abo with dandruff?
A lamington.
What do you call an Abo with warts?
A chokito.
What do you call an Abo with a PhD?
A liar.
What is yellow and screams?
A cab full of Abo's going over a cliff.
What's black and white rolling down a hill?
An Abo and a seagull fighting over a chip.
Why do Aborigines (Abo's) have one big nostril and one small nostril?
One is for Unleaded and one is for Super.
What's black & brown, and looks good on an Abo?
A doberman.
A garbage truck stops outside a ramshackle old house in Redfern.
The garbo yells out to the old Abo sitting on the front step: "Hey, where's your bin?"
Abo answers "I've bin in Queensland".
Garbo: "No, where's your wheelie bin".
Abo: "Well, I've weally bin in jail for the last two weeks, but don't tell anyone".
What do you call an Abo going down a water slide?
Sewage.
How many Abos do you see in futuristic movies?
None. The future is looking good, isn't it?
What do you if you see an Abo walking around with half a head?
Stop laughing and reload.
- Aboriginal pregnancy test.
Spread legs and insert a banana into the vagina.
Leave for 30 seconds.
Remove banana from vagina.
If banana is half eaten, there’s another fucking monkey on the way.
An Aboriginal man in Alice Springs goes to the doctor with a problem - he just can't stop jogging or stand still ! 'Hey white doctor" says the Blackman. "What ya think is makin' me run all over the place. It's to puckin' hot for dat shit." The doctor says " It's got me beat but hey I might have a cure." The doctor puts two rows of white powder on his desk and tells the Abo to snort them. The black man does as the doctor asks and immediately stops jogging up and down and stands dead still. 'Puck me drunk it worked. Is that cocaine?' he asks the doctor. 'No' the doctor replies. 'It's Omo - guaranteed to stop coloureds from running.' !!!
I saw my first aboriginal porno the other day.
It was called "Debbie does fuckall"
__________________
Video provides excellent example with a firetruck.
If you don't own a semi and see an Abo on the side of the road, opening your passenger-side door and collecting him as you pass makes an acceptable substitute.
If you do happen to hit one and they bounce off your truck into the roadside bushes, you should immediately call the cops, who will shake your hand and charge him with leaving the scene of an accident. If the Abo has gone through your windscreen, they will charge him with breaking and entering instead.
NOTE: It says WIN News at the start. They obviously named the network in anticipation of this moment.
If you are concerned about the above video, we wish to inform you that there was no damage to the firetruck, and the doctors at the hospital wasted no time, kicking Bruce (or Boongi-Dung-Dung De-Gonga-Wang-Doong as his family calls him) to the curb as soon as they realized he was an Abo, allowing more time for real patients.
In ending of this article the Aborginal, Abo or boong as they are called are basically the welfare subsidized listerine drinking, petrol sniffing of the Native American mixed with the welfare subsidized thugging, and hip hop playing gangsta behavior of the American Nigger.
See Also
- Australia
- ACMA
- Free Speech Which does not exist in any of the above.
- Ebonics
- Niggers
- Welfare
- Alcohol
- Rape
- Steve Hodder-Watt
|
Aboriginal is part of a series of topics related to Black People. ☻ |
|
