9/11
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
9/11, also known in some circles as .8181 or the Greatest Outdoor BBQ Ever, is the abbreviated version of "September 11," on which date certain men in black from the US government in coordination with the Jews performed a false flag operation and set off hidden explosives twice in teh world trade center towers, fired a missile at the Pentagon giving the arrogant Americunts a smackdown they richly deserved, and tried to blame it on Muslim terrorists. The result was a bunch of butthurt Americans who suddenly became "patriotic" and subsequently the sale of kitschy flags, patriotic t-shirts, and pins with crying eagles rose over 9,000%.
9/11 is also the date on which certain fascist terrorists led by Augusto Pinochet and backed by the CIA hijacked the democratically-elected socialist government of Chile, as a result of which some 3,000 innocent South Americans were executed or “disappeared.” Funny old thing, history. If you think this is at all relevant, you are a terrorist.
Reason to 9/11? Why, it is so simple. It was the super friends who took the WTC's down. George Bush was flying Wonder Woman's invisible jet and crashed into the towers. Space Ghost and Casper took out the Pentagon as per VP Cheney's orders. Flight 93 was a drone with no passengers or crew and filled with tax stimulus refund checks for the liberals, Superman directed the plane into the ground in Penn. where co-conspirators called 911. This is the absolute truth because I say it is. I have irrefutable proof and you have to believe me!
9/11 is also known to be the date on which a whole bunch of crazy redskins killed all the populace and set the Chilean city of Santiago on fire. And then raped all the women. After killing and burning them. But nobody gives a shit about that anymore.
9/11 is also known to be the date Jews blew up the twin towers to get insurance money.
9/11 is also the day Papa Bush started the Gulf War, 11 years BWTC.
9/11 is 111 days before new year.
9/11 is what you call when the World Trade Centers fall down.
9/11 is also known to be the date when a bunch of rightards attacked and killed 30 workers in Cochabamba, Bolivia, throwing the bodies to the river.
9/11 was actually performed by a group of Japanese Anime fans. Sadly, President_Bush didn't drop over 9000 nukes on Japan, instead he just killed some totally unrelated and innocent people in Afghanistan and Iraq. But we must never forget who was responsible - see picture to the right.
9/11 Is the 9th of November, but no one felt it appropriate to correct them in their hour of grief.
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Holy Fucking Shit
In common internets parlance and on various old media outlets, 9/11 is used to make liberals feel guilty for hating America, not supporting the war in Iraq, and forgetting about Poland. If you suggest that there was any significant reason for people to commit suicide while killing 3,000 people you are a conspiracy theorist and will be pwned with impenetrable conservative logic, seen here. Meanwhile, Conservatives and serial killer George W. Bush use it to justify their political ideology as well as any policies that may seem, on the face of it, stupid or crazy.
IRL, the term 9/11 is often associated with cheesy, über-patriotic imagery of the event, such as on mall-bought t-shirts proclaiming "NEVER FORGET!", and on the bumper stickers of countless SUVs. All of this swag is made in China, further funding Communism. Inciting 9/11 in a comedic manner will warrant over 9000 Americunts to baawww in protest, causing, for the most part, lulz. Thus, 9/11 is the best topic to bring up when bashing the Jewnited States of Americunts
It is a common theory that on 9/11, America was under attack. But, in reality, if America was under a tack, that would be one huge ass tack. A tack of this size has not been seen in the wild for over 9000 years, but is rumors to have been sighted in space Last Thursday.
Attack On American Soil
Americans were outraged that terrorists attacked American soil by crashing United Airlines Flight 93 into a field Shanksville, Pennsylvania.
They (with the exception of liberals) became further outraged when they discovered that the $57 million tribute to the soil attack was to be maple trees planted in the shape of an Islamic crescent.
Theories
Loose Change
Known internet child predator Dylan Avery also presents the story of Loose Change, which is a documentary void of scientific fact. Plz refer to above. Also, Jews did WTC is NOT a theory, it is SCIENTIFIC FACT YOU INSENSITIVE FUCKS.
Divide by zero theory
An accountant working at the WTC divided by zero resulting in a minuscule black hole which brought in a gravitational force and pulled the planes towards the buildings. Scientists look upon this as a joke, but I find it completely believable.
Illuminati
Richard C. Hoagland proposes that Muslim League of Assassins, [1][2] did WTC due to the Freemason back story with the Knights Templar, or those chain letters you get about how 9+1+1=11. Starter of all those people on JewTube spouting numerology.
Apparnetly, Osama crashed the towers cuz they represented Masonry, and therefore, Merikkka.
If we could tie the actual architects of the WTC towers directly to Freemasonry, we would have strong support for this aspect of our theory. To this point however, we have not been able to do so. We do, however, have some fascinating circumstantial evidence.
Have YOU cashed in on your Masonic membership yet?
Alternate Theories
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Accounts of the perpetrators
Now this is a story all about how
These towers got burned right to the ground
And I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a smoking crater
In west Afghanistan born and raised
In poverty is how I spent most of my days
Building an infrastructure with Russian funds
Whilst the tribal system started to fill up with modern guns
When a couple of Yanks who were up to no good
Trained and funded Mujahs in my neighbourhood
The Soviets left and Bin Laden got mad
And said "you're moving to America to commit Jihad"
I got a plane ticket and when I got on
I revealed that in my shoe I was hiding a bomb
If anything I was mad 'cause I was served pork
But I thought, "Naw, forget it - yo Holmes, to New York!"
I flew up to the towers 'bout half past ten
And the onlooking media said "Oh no, not this again"
I looked at my kingdom, all these virgins were there
To sit on my bone, with the smell of scorched hair
The Nightmare Continues
After several years of calm, the United States was yet again subjected to a harrowing, nightmarish vision of the apocalypse when dozens of little boxes with lights and pictures of terrifying alien creatures flipping the bird were placed in prominent locations in ten major U.S. cities in early 2007. By late January, the boxes had existed without incident for several weeks, and thus the obvious dangers inherent in little boxes with lights on them would have probably gone unheeded for perhaps one or even two more weeks had not some brave resident of Boston noticed them, pronounced them "wicked scary," and notified his or her local Catholic priest and the Department of Homeland Security, which promptly shut down a portion of the city and brought in bomb squads to have them removed. Understandably, the governor of Massachusetts and spokespersons for several law enforcement departments were outraged, calling the incident a "hoax" unfit for "this post-9/11 world." Their reasoning, of course, was sound. It is a well-known fact among terrorism experts that 90 percent of all a-linear attacks on Western targets perpetrated by Islamic terrorists involve little boxes with lights on them depicting cult characters from hipster-friendly American late night television cartoons engaged in a purely Western hand gesture, and which are placed in prominent locations for several weeks without exploding.
4/28, Nevar Forget
On April 28th, 2009, the White House sent Air Force One flying by Lower Manhattan in order to get a pretty picture of the airplane sexing up the Statue of Liberty. Naturally, they didn't bother to tell anyone, assuming no one would notice a giant 747 heading straight for the Financial District in the middle of a weekday. With in minutes, hundreds of thousands of people were flooding out of their buildings, traffic came to a halt (not that it was moving anyway), the stock market crashed, and global finance stopped dead (not that it wasn't dead already).
When asked why they didn't warn New Yorkers beforehand, an FAA spokesmen said it was because the information was "Classified". Just like why they didn't bother to warn NYC about 9/11 despite alerts from the FBI and the Mossad.
When asked why they did it, the FAA spokesmen admitted it was "for the lulz".
You're a terrorist
A common defense used by anyone who disagrees with you is saying "9/11" and "Terrorist." Once these words are spoken you instantly lose and are supporting terrorism and will result in your house getting hit by 1000 Nukes for some epic lulz. Be sure to call them a Nazi to ensure an Epic Win. Example:
Once you have let everyone know you're a terrorist, all that's left is to blow some shit up. Follow these simple steps to ensure epic win:
- Get on plane
- Kill pilot
- Fly plane into tall building, Be sure at least 300 fat Americunts are inside the building to ensure some lulz
- Become an hero
- ????
- VIRGINS!
Clarification
Not to be confused with the very similar sounding 7-11. While both of these number related names have a lot in common, namely the Arabs and Indians involved in the plot to take over USAn ghettos, the effects of 7-11 are much more pervasive than 9/11
Actually, The Tsunami Was Worse
Exactly one hundred times worse, according to the advert for the WWF pictured right. It was designed for them by a Brazilian ad agency, and if we had a time machine, the first thing we'd do would be to go back to the precise moment when the jungle-spics unveiled their design to them just so we could record the looks on their faces.
Thankfully for the lulz, the image of a hundred planes zerg rushing Manhattan was leaked before they could burn every last copy of it.
Videos
Tribute
Many people have tributed 9/11 with websites, epitaphs and other such useless things which definitely amount to the equivalent value of a human being. However, the best of these is the Ecuadorian singer, Delfin Hasta El Fin, which translates to, seriously, 'Dolphin Till The End'. I'm not even going TRY making fun of THAT. Although it shows you many things about his sexual identity. His music video, 'Twin Towers', is a wonderful insight into how the South Americans (wait, what?) view the tragic events that occurred on 9/11. We cry, but for many different reasons.
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More Benny Hill lulz:
See Also
- Terrorism
- Alex Jones
- Rudy Giuliani
- Mohammed Atta
- Jews
- Jews did WTC
- Cory Lidle
- 9/11 fanboi Jack Jersawitz
- lolterrorism
External Links
- Fappin material.
- Marion Cotillard says it is better that the towers were destroyed, so that we don't have to spend money to modernize them.
| 9/11 is part of a series on Terrorists 
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Big Players Osama Bin Laden
• Dnepropetrovsk maniacs
• John Walker Lindh
• Muslims
• George W Bush
• Unabomber
• Cho Seung-Hui
• Michael Moore
• The Finnisher
• Matthew Murray
• Robert Hawkins
• Timothy McVeigh Terrorist Groups, Beliefs and Causes Arab
• Axis of Evil
• Binghampton
• Iran
• Ireland
• Islam
• Pakistan
• Palestine
• Sudan Terrorist Actions Waco • WTC • Binghampton Tet Offensive • Columbine • ATHF Terrorist Attack • VTech • Fort Hood Massacre • Oklahoma City Bombing • Delaware State University Shooting • Police Brutality You can help improve Encyclopedia Dramatica by adding more and more awesome explosions and killers of civilians. |
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